Number | Name | Type | Area | Description |
783 | "Villa Document" (Retired) | Usable | Uncle P's Antiques (Retired) | This is a
piece of paper covered with print so fine you can't actually read it. It
has the word"Villa"in big letters at the top, though. |
902 | 100 Watt Bulb | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is the bulb of a plant
that grows in the 100-Watt Swamp (a Watt is equal to about 2.3 hectares,
or 7.5 fathoms). It glows brightly in the presence of mystical energy.
Put this inside your Jill-O-Lantern and she'll be brighter than a new
penny. |
542 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | Pants | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a p41r of 7r0uZ0RZ
that totally 0wnZ0r j00. You're embarrassed at the grammar, but fortified
by the 1337ness of 'em. |
549 | 30669 Scroll | | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a scroll with the
number 30669 written on it. Bizarre. |
553 | 31337 Scroll | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a scroll with the
number 31337 written on it. W31rd, d00d. |
550 | 33398 Scroll | | Inventory - Combine | This is a scroll with the
number 33398 written on it. Unusual. |
547 | 334 Scroll | | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a scroll with the
number 334 written on it. Curious. |
57 | 5-Alarm Saucepan | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a saucepan filled
with the spiciest sauce imaginable. The merest whiff of the fumes from
this pan is enough to bring even the most ferocious opponent to his or
her (or its) knees. |
551 | 64067 Scroll | | Inventory - Combine | This is a scroll with the
number 64067 written on it. Peculiar. |
552 | 64735 Scroll | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a scroll with the
number 64735 written on it. Queer. Wait, no. Don't hit me, man, I meant
it like ?weird.? |
548 | 668 Scroll | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a scroll with the
number 668 written on it. Strange. |
362 | 7-Foot Dwarven Mattock | Weapon | Itznotyerzitz Mine | This is a 7-Foot
Dwarven Mattock. It's used to mine things. By the miners. In the mines.
The Dwarves are 7 feet tall, not the Mattock. |
682 | A Little Sump'm Sump'm | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink
made of gin, an olive, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you
blush. |
639 | Abominable Snowcone | Food | The Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort | This snowcone isn't
very good at all. It's not round, not cold enough, and doesn't smell
particularly appetizing. |
534 | Abridged Dictionary (Once Only) | | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is
a severely abridged dictionary. It appears to contain only the words
beginning with the letter Arrrr. |
430 | Acid-Squirting Flower | Accessory | The "Fun" House | This is your run of
the mill squirting flower, only filled with powerful acid. While you're
wearing this, anybody who steps to you is sure to get a facefull of pain.
|
404 | Acoustic Guitarrr | Usable | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a guitarrr. It
used to belong to a pirate. He probably used it to play songs about the
starrrs, and how farrr he was from his favorite barrr. Because, y'know,
he had a pet barrr back on shore. |
784 | Acqua Del Piatto Merlot (Retired) | Booze | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) | This is
a bottle of red, red wine, straight from the vineyards of Old Country. A
lot of this stuff made its way into the Kingdom by way of Mob Penguin
immigrants. It will make you feel so fine, but it will also keep you
looking over your shoulder, all of the time. |
795 | Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet (Retired) | Booze | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) |
This is a bottle of red, red wine, straight from the vineyards of Old
Country. It's a rare and expensive vintage. Wine guides report that it
has a light floral bouquet, and that it's assertive without being bold.
Wine guides are also written by pretentious jerks. |
64 | Action Figure Body (Once Only) | | The Toot Oriole | This is
the body of a broken Mighty Bjorn action figure. |
63 | Action Figure Head (Once Only) | | The Toot Oriole | This is
the head from a broken Mighty Bjorn action figure |
794 | Alarming Strawberry Juice | Usable | Inventory - Cook | After drinking
this potion, you'll be alarmed at how much your Muscle and Mysticality
have become exactly equal to your Moxie. Because seriously, it'll be
pretty alarming. |
594 | Amulet Of Extreme Plot Significance | Accessory | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This
little trinket was probably really important to the plot of one story or
another. Y'know, like it turned out to be the key to some generator room
in which some final conflict takes place, or maybe it contains the spirit
of a dead race of extremely wise and powerful magician people, or
something. You could probably pawn this for quite a bit of Meat. |
153 | Ancient Saucehelm (Once Only - Class Based) | Hat | The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave | This is one of the Saucehelms of yore. Now it's yores. |
617 | Angry Farmer Candy | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This is a tiny brick
of flavored sugar. If the Crown Prince of Sourville married the Duchess
of Fruitonia, this would be their twisted love child. |
829 | Anti-Anti Antidote | Usable | The Demon Market | This is a cup of stuff
that will un-un-unpoison you if you get un-unpoisoned. |
142 | Anticheese | | The Distant Lands Dude Ranch Vacation | This isn't so much a wedge of
cheese as a hole in space the same shape as a wedge of cheese. It doesn't
weigh much. |
487 | Arrrgyle Socks | Accessory | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a pair of socks,
with an arrrgyle pattern sewn into them. There's something about the
pattern that seems to create Magicalness out of thin socks. |
418 | Arse-A'Fire Elixir | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a potent
potion made from a very hot pepper. Drinking this'll make you feel like
you've had a capsaicin busted in your ass. |
929 | Arse-Shooting Crossbow (Jick) | Ranged Weapon | Jick | This
crossbow looks like it'd be perfect for shooting people in the arse.
Y'know, like that one scene in Braveheart where that guy gets shot in the
arse? Like that. |
383 | Asbestos Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is an asbestos
crossbow. It's Extraordinarily Moxious. |
371 | Asbestos Crossbow String | | Inventory - Smith | This is a
crossbow string coated with asbestos. No amount of friction wil ever
ignite this baby. |
390 | Asbestos Helmet Turtle | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is a turtle
whose shell has been plated with asbestos and meat. It's wicked tough,
and flame-retardant. |
376 | Asbestos Meat Stack | | Inventory - Smith | This is a dense meat
stack fortified with asbestos. The hottest barbecue in the world couldn't
touch this stuff. |
364 | Asbestos Ore | | Itznotyerzitz Mine (In Disguise) | This is a big chunk of
asbestos ore, fresh from the living rock. |
382 | Asbestos Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is an asbestos staff.
It radiates asbestosy magic. |
370 | Asbestos Stick | | Inventory - Smith | This is a big stick
coated in asbestos. It's considerably more flame-retardant than a normal
wooden stick, which is to say more than not at all. |
381 | Asbestos Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is an asbestos sword.
It's sharp enough to cut the wind, and it's flame-retardant enough to cut
fire. It could probably also cut earth and water, but for different
reasons. |
369 | Asbestos Sword Hilt | | Inventory - Smith | This is a sword hilt
coated in asbestos. It's even more resistant to fire than a normal sword
hilt. |
692 | Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
19 | Asparagus Knife | Weapon | The Haunted Pantry | This is a knife you got
from a can of asparagus. It's sharp, and will make the pee of anything
you stab with it smell funny. |
806 | Asparagus Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a delicious
stir-fry of delicious seasoned asparagus. You'd estimate that this
stir-fry is more delicious than the pre-stir-fry asparagus by a pretty
wide margin. Just don't pee for a few hours. Er, days. |
638 | Asshat | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This is a hat made from two
cheeks. Once you get used to the smell, it's pretty stylish. |
622 | Awful Poetry Journal | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | No one understands
my pain. I stand alone out in the rain. My soul is bobbing in the waters.
Of Princess Miasma and her dark daughters. This journal is full of the
worst poetry you've ever read. The words ?rain?, ?soul?, and ?miasma?
figure prominently in every poem. |
828 | Baby Killer Bee | Familiar | The Dungeons Of Doom | This is not, as you're
probably afraid of, a bee that kills babies. It's a baby bee, that will
eventually grow up to kill babies. Crucial difference. |
705 | Baconstone | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
717 | Baconstone Bracelet | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
715 | Baconstone Earring | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
716 | Baconstone Pendant | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
718 | Baconstone Ring | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
677 | Badass Belt | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a belt made up of the
trophies of some of your most badass conquests. Feel the power! |
434 | Balloon Helmet | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This is a helmet made of
balloons that have been twisted together. It provides better head
protection than you might expect. |
436 | Balloon Monkey | Familiar | Inventory - Combine | This is a monkey made of
balloons. It looks restless. And it doesn't like the sound of those
drums. |
435 | Balloon Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a sword made out of
balloons. Its turn-ons include helium and bopping enemies on the head.
Its turn-offs include just about anything pointy. |
52 | Banjo Strings | | The Hermitage | These are strings from a
banjo. One of them is quite a bit shorter than the others, but they all
possess similar levels of twang. |
70 | Bar Skin | | The Spooky Forest | This is the pelt from a big bar.
|
145 | Barbed-Wire Fence | Combat/Usable Item | The Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort | This is a barbed wire
fence from Distant Lands. This'd probably be pretty useful in defending
your campsite. |
412 | Barrrnacle | Familiar | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a barrrnacle. It's,
y'know, a Crustacean. Which means that it's from Crustacea. I've heard
Crustacea is a nice place to visit, but not during the Spring. |
72 | Barskin Hat | Hat | The Spooky Forest | This is a cap made from the
hide and tail of a bar. It's as stylish as it is warm. |
73 | Barskin Tent | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a tent made from the
skin of a bar. It's pretty tough, and the fur makes it pretty
comfortable, too. An outdoorsman is you! |
439 | Bartender Skull | | Inventory - Combine | This is a skull which is
also a bartender. It's not, strictly speaking, the skull of a bartender,
which is what the name might lead you to believe. The name is very sorry
about any confusion this may have caused. |
440 | Bartender-In-The-Box | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a bartender
skull in a jack-in-the-box. It'd look nice in your campsite, and it would
probably help you with your cocktailcrafting. |
442 | Bartender-Skull-In-The-Box | | Inventory - Combine | This is a
bartender skull in a jack-in-the-box. He appears to be ready to start
making cocktails, but he lacks the necessary equipment. |
181 | Baseball | Combat/Usable Item | The Guano Junction | This is a baseball, which used to
be part of a baseball bat. This baseball a been a bery bery good to you.
Some kid would probably like this. |
111 | Basic Meat Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a
run-of-the-mill crossbow made of meat. |
770 | Basic Meat Fez | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is a fez made of
meat. It's got a nice tassel on it, and it smells vaguely of blood
oranges. |
774 | Basic Meat Foon | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a foon made of
Meat. Its glistening tines inspire you to great violence. |
95 | Basic Meat Helmet | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is an ordinary
helmet made of meat. As if such a thing could be described as ordinary.
|
94 | Basic Meat Pants | Pants | Inventory - Smith | This is a fairly
straightforward pair of pants, made out of meat. |
773 | Basic Meat Spork | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a spork made
mostly of meat. You wouldn't have thought a spork could get any more
difficult to eat with. |
110 | Basic Meat Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a regular old
meat staff. |
93 | Basic Meat Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is your basic meat
sword. |
188 | Bat Guano | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is some guano from a bat.
They say in some cultures, they make pottery out of this stuff. That
sounds pretty nasty to me. |
320 | Bat Haggis | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a haggis made out of
some batgut. It looks tastier than some of the other haggis (haggises?)
you've seen, but that's not saying much. |
183 | Bat Wing | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a wing from a bat. It
seems surprisingly meaty. |
814 | Bat Wing Chow Mein | Food | Inventory - Cook | Your mama always told
you that bat wings were good for you, right? ?Eat all your bat wings or
I'll lock you in the closet, she'd say.? Wait, no, that was my mom. Never
mind. |
201 | Bat Wing Kabob | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a kabob made out
of a skewered bat wing. It looks pretty tasty. |
809 | Bat Wing Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a stir-fry of
bat wings and vegetables. One of the bat claws looks like it's clutching
a slice of mushroom -- how cute! |
494 | Batblade | Weapon | The Palindome | This is a dewinged stab-bat.
Have you heard my new band, the Dewinged Stab-Bats? Anyway, it's wicked
sharp. |
182 | Batgut | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is the gut from a bat.
That's why they call it a batgut. If it were the gut from something else,
they'd call it a somethingelsegut. |
192 | Batskin Belt (Once Only) | | The Council Of Loathing | This is the
belt given to you by the council after slaying the Boss Bat. It doesn't
even have a buckle. What a bunch of cheapskates. |
314 | Bean Burrito | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a delicious burrito
made with beans. It's a little bland, but still good. |
429 | Beanbag Chair | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a beanbag chair. It
looks pretty comfortable, in a creepy 70s sort of way. |
311 | Beans | | The Cobb's Knob Treasury | This is a bag full of dried beans.
|
444 | Beer Goggles | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a pair of goggles
made from two beer lenses. |
443 | Beer Lens | | The Typical Tavern | This is a lens that has been
ground out of the bottom of a beer bottle. It distorts things like a
wah-wah pedal. Well, not exactly like a wah-wah pedal. |
842 | Beertini | Booze | Blown Up Bartender | This appears to be a cocktail made
of gin and beer. Sort of like a boilermaker, except instead of making you
boiler, it just makes you nauseous. |
1131 | Beet | | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | This is a phat beet. You might
even go so far as to call it a mad beet. It has been called the most
intense of vegetables, so you might even say that in an intensity
contest, a beet cannot be beaten. Or beeten. |
517 | Bejeweled Accordion Strap | Accessory | The Shadowy Store | This is an
accordion strap with inlaid silver and semi-precious gems. Wantssss it,
sort of. Kind of wantssss the semi-precioussss. |
337 | Big Ol' Trophy (Jick) | | Jick | This is a big
shiny trophy. How proud you must be to have won this! |
449 | Big Red Clown Nose | Accessory | The "Fun" House | This is a big red clown
nose. Not detachable, and rubber, like you'd think. No, I'd say it's more
aptly described as severed and veiny. |
30 | Big Rock | | The Thatch-Roofed Casino | This is a big rock. |
108 | Big Stick | Weapon | The Meatsmith | This is a big stick. With a
little work, it could probably be made into a staff. |
235 | Bigger Bugfinder Blade (Jick) | Weapon | Jick | This is an
even more powerful and mysterious sword. Its power is exceeded only by
its mystery, even more so. It is bestowed upon the Champion Bugfinders of
the land. |
193 | Birthday Candle (Unimplemented) | Usable | Unimplemented | This is a
birthday candle, which will provide a very small amount of light for a
very short amount of time. |
134 | Bitchin' Meat Car | | Inventory - Combine | This is one bitchin'
meat car, man. This thing'll be great for going down to the shore. You
could even run over some old lady, one night at the county fair, and
probably not even get arrested (because your dad's the Mayor.) |
32 | Bjorn's Hammer | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a hammer modeled
after the weapon of Bjorn, the most legendary of Seal Clubbers.Seals flee
in terror before the wielder of this fearsome weapon. |
1070 | Black Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with a black paisley pattern. It looks
like a newspaper photo of a hippy egg. Y'know, from some sort of
alternate reality where hippies come from eggs. And are newsworthy. |
460 | Black Pixel | | The 8-Bit Realm | This strange object appears
to be a black dot, which could not, no matter how hard you tried, be
separated into any smaller pieces. Odd. |
1071 | Black Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is a black
plastic imitation oyster egg. It's like a tiny black hole, only
egg-shaped instead of hole-shaped. And with far, far less gravity. |
1069 | Black Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with black polka dots. It looks like it
got punched in a whole bunch of eyes yesterday. |
1068 | Black Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with black stripes. Some Vietnam veteran
must've seen an egg painted with red stripes, and taken what he felt was
the appropriate action. |
96 | Bling-Bling | Accessory | The Haiku Dungeon | Yo, this bling-bling be phat.
In the hizzouse. |
687 | Blood Of The Wereseal | Usable | The Smacketeria | This is a potion
made from the blood of a wereseal. It positively bubbles with
lyncanthropy. |
528 | Blood-Faced Volleyball | Familiar | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a
volleyball with a bloody face on it. It's cute. |
252 | Bloody Beer | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a half beer, half
tomato juice concoction. |
432 | Bloody Clown Pants | Pants | The "Fun" House | This is a pair of
bloody clown pants. Believe me -- you don't want to know how the blood
got there. |
249 | Bloody Mary | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a delicious Bloody
Mary. It's not quite as spicy as it could be, but it's still part of a
complete breakfast. |
1054 | Blue Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with a blue paisley pattern. Don't put it
down on a hippy's couch, or you may never find it again. |
463 | Blue Pixel | | The 8-Bit Realm | This strange object appears
to be a blue dot, which could not, no matter how hard you tried, be
separated into any smaller pieces. Bizarre. |
465 | Blue Pixel Potion | Combat/Usable Item | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is a blue potion
made of Pixels. You have a feeling this would restore a lot of MP if you
drank it. |
1055 | Blue Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is a blue
plastic imitation oyster egg. Wondering what's inside? Probably something
blue... |
1053 | Blue Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with blue polka dots. You never thought
anybody would successfully combine polka and the blues, but this egg
proves you wrong, in a wordplay kind of way. |
1052 | Blue Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with blue stripes. If they were streaks
instead of stripes, this thing would probably be a lot faster. |
853 | Blundarrrbus | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | For those of you without
dictionaries, this is the 18th-century equivalent of a shotgun. Yup, back
in the age of pirates, many a blundarrbus wedding took place, and you had
to call ?blundarrbus!? to secure a place next to the driver of a vehicle.
|
1024 | Bodyslam | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | Some madman has made a fancy
martini out of tequila. Are you mad enough to drink it, man? |
168 | Bone Rattle | | Inventory - Combine | This is a skull attached to
a bone, with some pebbles in it to make it rattle. This would probably
appeal to a very large, very morbid baby. |
579 | Boring Spaghetti | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a bowl of
noodles with tomato sauce. Nutritious, but dull. |
282 | Boris's Key | | The Daily Dungeon | This is the key to the
Shrine of Boris, in the Big Mountains. |
510 | Boris's Key Lime | | Inventory - Cook | This is a lime, with
Boris's Key cooked into it. |
513 | Boris's Key Lime Pie | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a key lime
pie with the essence of Boris baked into it. It oozes with flavor and
Muscularity. |
287 | Boris's Ring | Accessory | The Daily Dungeon | This is one of the rings worn
by Boris, the legendary warrior of the Times of Old. Some of his spirit
lives on within it. |
191 | Boss Bat Bandana (Once Only) | | The Hole In The Sky | This is the
bandana formerly worn by the Boss Bat. |
237 | Bottle Of Gin | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a tiny airline-sized
bottle of gin. The Orcish Frat Boys must've gotten this from some other
dimension. |
787 | Bottle Of Rum | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a bottle of rum,
probably acquired from the pirates of The Obligatory Pirate's Cove. Yo ho
ho and this! |
1004 | Bottle Of Tequila | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is an
airline-sized bottle of tequila. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila,
floor. |
238 | Bottle Of Vodka | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a tiny
airline-sized bottle of vodka. The Orcish Frat Boys must've gotten this
from some other dimension. |
328 | Bottle Of Whiskey | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is an airline-sized
bottle of whiskey. Mmmm. Whiskey. |
940 | Bow (Reitred) | | Crimbo 2004 | This is a pretty red bow.
This bow is pretty red. You've read pretty much everything there is to
read about this bow. |
943 | Bow Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a staff with a big red
bow on it. The bow would probably add some nice slicing damage to the
smashing damage the big stick already does. |
49 | Bowl Of Cottage Cheese | Food | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | This is a bowl of
cottage cheese. If you like cottage cheese, it looks pretty good. If you
don't, it doesn't. |
105 | Bowl Of Lucky Charms | Food | The Spooky Forest | This is a bowl of
Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious, and deliciously magical. |
944 | Bowlegged Pants | Pants | Inventory - Smith | These pants are joined at
the top by a huge bow. Making them bowlegged. Get it? |
942 | Bowler | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is a hat made out of Meat and
a bow. Somehow it looks like an ordinary bowler. |
427 | Box | Accessory | Multiple, Format Coming | This is the box from a
something-in-the-box. It's got a lid, and a crank. |
480 | Box Of Birthday Candles (Once Only) | | The Dark Heart Of The Woods | This
is a box of birthday candles. They're perfect for adorning a child's
cake, or performing demonic rituals. |
445 | Box-In-The-Box | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a box, on a spring,
in a box. You could keep a lot of stuff in here. |
447 | Box-In-The-Box-In-The-Box | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a box on
a spring, in a box on a spring, in a box (not on a spring.) Isn't it
weird how 'box' doesn't even look like a word anymore? |
1005 | Boxed Wine | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a plastic bladder full
of wine in a cube-shaped cardboard box. You are already too educated
stupid to understand the truth of nature's harmonic simultaneous 4-liter
wine cube. |
177 | Brainy Skull | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a smart skull with a
brain in it. |
864 | Brass Stinger | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a tiny brass
stinger, designed to fit over the actual stinger of a killer bee. With a
heavy stinger comes great stinging power, and with great stinging power
comes great stinging responsibility. |
535 | Bridge (Once Only) | | The Untinker | This is a bridge. You
could use it for crossing things, or to keep trolls under. |
184 | Briefcase | Usable | The Bat Hole Entryway | This is a briefcase. I wonder
what's inside... |
570 | Brimstone Chicken Sandwich | Food | Campground | This is an
extremely spicy chicken sandwich. The screams of the damned emanate from
within it. Soon they'll emanate from within you. |
761 | Brine | | The Spectral Pickle Factory | This is a patch of brine. It's
like salt, only... er... it's like salt. |
765 | Briny Vinegar | | Inventory - Cook | This is a solution of
brine in vinegar. Which is not to say that brine in vinegar is a problem.
|
923 | Broken Cellular Phone (Retired) | | The Icy Peak | This is
a cell phone that appears to have been broken in half during a fierce
melee. Or maybe somebody was talking really loudly on it in the middle of
a restaurant, and somebody sitting nearby just snapped and went house on
the phone. |
741 | Broken Skull | | The Guano Junction | This is a broken skull,
with some itty bitty bits of skull rattling around inside of it. There's
no indication of whether the bits are from this skull, or from a
different skull entirely. |
821 | Bubbly Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a
bottle shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might
ask? You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
1028 | Buckler Buckle | | Inventory - Smith | This is a buckle with
straps on it. This thing could be used by a properly trained Turtle Tamer
to make a variety of bucklers. The bucklers will then allow various
bucklees to be buckled. |
169 | Bugbear Beanie | Hat | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a beanie made from
the skin of a bugbear. Sadly, it lacks a propellor. |
79 | Bugbear Bungguard | Pants | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a pair of pants
formerly owned by a bugbear. The pants fit you perfectly. Is there
something you'd like to tell us? |
892 | Bugbear-Smiting Sword (Jick) | Weapon | Jick | This is a
sword with a curved blade and a squishy handle. It was forged in dark
magic for a mighty warrior - the legendary Bugbear Smiter! Bugbears
everywhere fear it. And you can squeeze the grip to relieve stress, to
prevent you from spazzing and worrying about stuff. |
116 | Bugfinder Blade (Jick) | Weapon | Jick | This is a very
powerful and mysterious sword. Its power is exceeded only by its mystery.
It is bestowed upon the Champion Bugfinders of the land. |
566 | Bum Cheek | Hat | The Sleazy Back Alley | This is the severed cheek of a
bum that rushed you. It's a sizable-enough cheek that it could be worn as
a hat. |
1018 | Calle De Miel | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a margarita which
has been reduced in temperature to near absolute zero. Somehow this
process made it taste like honey. And asphalt. |
744 | Can Of Hair Spray | Combat/Usable Item | The Demon Market | This is a regular old
can of hair spray. |
291 | Can Of Maces | Ranged Weapon | The Daily Dungeon | This is a spray can filled
with tiny maces. Ouch! |
226 | Can Of Red Minotaur | Beverage | Unimplemented | This
is a can of Red Minotaur energy drink. |
913 | Candied Kobold | Usable | Halloween | This is a portion of
candied kobold meat. It smells like it came from a tin. |
915 | Candied Yam Pinky Ring | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a tiny
ring fashioned from dried and pressed candied yams. Actually, it's
probably small enough that it only took one yam to make it. |
933 | Candy Cane (Retired) | Food | Crimbo 2004 | This is a candy cane.
It's like a regular cane, only smaller, and if you tried to use it to
help you walk, your hands would get all sticky. |
216 | Carob Brownies | Food | Inventory - Cook | These are some brownies
with chunks of carob in them. Nasty, with a capital N. |
204 | Carob Chunk Cookies | Food | Inventory - Cook | These are cookies
made with some chunks of carob. They're edible, but just barely. |
956 | Carob Chunk Noodles | Food | Blown Up Chef | This is a tasty dish
of spaghetti, with god-awful carob chunks littering it like land mines in
open water. Even the filthiest hippy wouldn't touch this stuff. |
202 | Carob Chunks | Food | The Hippy Camp | These are some chunks of
carob. Some people use these instead of chocolate. You've never
understood those people. |
40 | Casino Pass | | The Demon Market | This is a pass, with which
one can gain entrance to the Thatch-Roofed Casino.It's also good for one
free drink. |
474 | Cast | Combat/Usable Item | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a cast of thousands.
Thousands of tortured souls, that is. This thing has probably been cast
into the Lake of Fire once or twice. |
496 | Cat Appendix | | The Palindome | This is a section at the
end of a book in which all of the cats mentioned in the book are
described in greater detail. Oh, wait, no it's not. It's just a cat's
appendix. |
495 | Catgut | | The Palindome | This is, er, the intestine of a
cat. That's pretty much all. |
107 | Catsup | Food | The Hermitage | This is a bottle of catsup. It's
different from ketchup. |
796 | Cement Shoes (Retired) | Accessory | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) | This is a pair of
cement shoes, like those worn by the ?associates? of the Penguin Mafia.
They're stylish, they have good arch support, and they're enchanted to
improve the wearer's sleep! |
133 | Certificate Of Participation (Once Only) | Usable | The Toot Oriole |
This Certificate proclaims that you are a legitimate participant in the
adventuring community of The Kingdom of Loathing.Hang it proudly in your
campsite! |
615 | Chaos Butterfly | Combat/Usable Item | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This butterfly, by
flapping its wings, can influence events very far away. How? I dunno. You
should probably ask Jeff Goldblum. |
411 | Charrrm | | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a tiny metal charrrm,
shaped like a skull and crossbones. A ?Jolly Roger,? if you will. If you
won't, then it's shaped like a skull and crossbones. |
413 | Charrrm Bracelet | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This bracelet makes you
pretty charrrming. That's due to the charrrm on it. |
1045 | Cheap Plastic Bottle Opener | Weapon | St. Sneaky Pete's Day | This device
is perfect for opening cheap plastic bottles. The sharp bit on the end
also makes it marginally useful as a weapon. |
637 | Cheap Toaster (Once Only) | Usable | The Shore Inc. | This is a
cheap toaster. You put bread in it, push down the lever, and in a couple
of minute, toast comes out! Nobody knows where the bread goes. |
437 | Chef Skull | | Inventory - Combine | This is a brainy skull that
knows how to cook. This might come in handy, if you had something to put
it in... |
293 | Chef's Hat | Hat | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | This is a chef's hat. It's
white and puffy. |
438 | Chef-In-The-Box | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a chef's skull in
a jack-in-the-box. It'd look pretty nice at your campsite, and it could
probably help you out with your cooking. |
441 | Chef-Skull-In-The-Box | | Inventory - Combine | This is a chef
skull in a jack-in-the-box. He appears to be ready to start cooking, but
he lacks the necessary equipment. |
1006 | Cherry | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a cherry. The last time
you saw something like this, it was floating through some kind of weird
blue maze filled with dots. |
950 | Cherry Bomb | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This tall whiskey drink has
many, many cherries. Cool drink of whiskey, such a sweet surprise. |
898 | Cheshire Bitten | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This is a baby Cheshire
Bat. No arguments - if a baby cat is a kitten, a baby bat is a bitten.
Anyway, Cheshire Bats are known for their mysterious smile and their even
more mysterious habit of disappearing and re-appearing with large amounts
of meat. |
678 | Chest Of The Bonerdagon (Once Only) | Usable | The Haert Of The Cyrpt | This
is the Chest of the Bonerdagon, which is made up of the Ribs of the
Bonerdagon and the Sternum of the Bonerdagon, and probably contains the
Goodies of the Bonerdagon. |
23 | Chewing Gum On A String | | The Demon Market | This is a wad of
chewing gum on the end of a long string. It'd be perfect for fishing
things out of a sewer. |
572 | Childrens' Meal Of The Damned (Unimplemented) | Food | Unimplemented | This is not here yet. |
861 | Chocolate Spurs | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | These are razor-sharp
hunks of chocolate that fit over the Cocoabo's talons. Well, they're at
least as sharp as a razor made out of chocolate. These should help your
cocoabo do that voodoo that he do so well even better. What they can't do
is improve the grammar of the previous sentence. |
957 | Chorizo Brownies | Food | Blown Up Chef | These are chocolate
brownies with large lumps of spicy pork in them. Just like grandma used
to make. Grandma hated you. |
179 | Chorizo Taco | Food | Inventory - Cook | Mmm. A delicious chorizo
taco. It's spicy and nutritious. |
386 | Chrome Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a chrome
crossbow. It's so shiny that it alters the very fabric of space and time.
It alters them so much that you'll get three extra adventures per day
when you've got it equipped. |
374 | Chrome Crossbow String | | Inventory - Smith | This is a
crossbow string coated in shiny chrome. It's as shiny and as flexible as
some aluminum foil. Make that slightly shinier and slightly less
flexible. |
392 | Chrome Helmet Turtle | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is a turtle
whose shell has been plated with chrome and meat. It's hella tough, and
hella shiny. |
377 | Chrome Meat Stack | | Inventory - Smith | This is a dense meat
stack coated with shiny chrome. It's the shiniest and most valuable thing
you can imagine. Except for a slightly bigger chrome meat stack. |
365 | Chrome Ore | | Itznotyerzitz Mine (In Disguise) | This is a big, shiny chunk of
chrome ore, fresh from the living rock. |
385 | Chrome Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a chrome staff. It's
so shiny that it alters the very fabric of space and time. It alters them
so much that you'll get three extra adventures per day when you've got it
equipped. |
373 | Chrome Stick | | Inventory - Smith | This is a big stick coated
in shiny chrome. You've seen some shiny sticks in your day, but this
takes the cake. The, uh, cake which is awarded to the shiniest stick. |
384 | Chrome Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a chrome sword. It's
so shiny that it alters the very fabric of space and time. It alters it
so much that you'll get three extra adventures per day when you've got it
equipped. |
372 | Chrome Sword Hilt | | Inventory - Smith | This is a sword hilt
coated in shiny chrome. This would make a sword of particular interest to
both warriors and raccoons. |
823 | Cloudy Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a
bottle shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might
ask? You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
431 | Clown Shoes | Accessory | The "Fun" House | This is a pair of big red
clown shoes. Do you belive in magic? These shoes certainly do. |
339 | Cobb's Knob Lab Key (Once Only) | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is
a key to the laboratories deep within Cobb's Knob. |
236 | Cocktailcrafting Kit | Crafting Item | The Demon Market | This is a kit which
contains everything you need to concoct delicious cocktails. |
591 | Cocoa Egg | Familiar | Inventory - Cook | This is an egg made of
chocolate, from whence will hatch who knows what manner of chocolatey
madness. |
589 | Cocoa Eggshell Fragment | Food | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a small
fragment of what appears to have been a chocolate egg. |
702 | Coconut Bikini Top | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1007 | Coconut Shell | Hat | The Distant Lands Dude Ranch Vacation | This is a coconut shell
with a big hole in it. If you hold it up to your ear, you can hear the
sound of coconut milk sloshing around. |
897 | Coffee Sprite | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This little guy is a baby
Coffee Pixie. Coffee pixies are magical creatures who are addicted to
caffeine - some thaumobiologists claim it runs in their veins instead of
blood. They're a little jumpy, and you wouldn't want to be between them
and a Starbucks, but they're fast as heck and twice as useful. As, er,
heck. |
120 | Cog | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a cog. Despite all of its
asprirations, it will remain a cog. |
122 | Cog and Sprocket Assembly | | Inventory - Combine | This assembly
is made out of a cog and a sprocket assembly (which is made out of a
sprocket and a spring.) |
908 | Cold Hots Candy | Usable | Halloween | Think about how cold they
are. Now think about how hot they are. Secret ninja candy-making
techniques cause these to change temperature in your mouth, rather than
flavor. Even the ninjas don't know why they thought that was a good idea.
|
348 | Cold Ninja Mask | Hat | The Lair Of The Ninja Snowmen | This is the mask of a
Ninja Snowman. It's very cold. Brrrrrrr. |
272 | Concentrated Magicalness Pill | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a
pill which contains a tremendous amount of concentrated Magicalness. |
336 | Consolation Ribbon (Jick) | Accessory | Jick | This is a crappy
white consolation ribbon. Oh well. At least you won something. |
458 | Continuum Transfunctioner | Accessory | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is, as the
Crackpot Mystic told you, an artifact of great power and great mystery.
Its power is exceeded only by its mystery, and strangely, its mystery is
exceeded only by its power. |
751 | Cool Mushroom | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
752 | Cool Mushroom Caserole | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
634 | Cool Whip | Weapon | The Demon Market | This is a totally rad bullwhip
made of awesome leather. |
834 | Cornuthaum | Hat | The Dungeons Of Doom | This is a conical hat. If it
had the word"dunce"written on it, you might call it a dunce cap.
Actually, you might call it that even though it doesn't, because you
don't seem to care much whether you call things by their right names or
not. |
424 | Cosmic Lemonade | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a glass of
lemonade. The ?lemon? part comes from a lemon, and the ?ade? part comes
from outer space. This would probably make you feel pretty magical for a
while if you drank it. |
143 | Cottage | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a cozy little cottage.
You could probably put this up at your campsite. |
672 | Cranberries | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a bunch of
cranberries. Do you have to let them linger? |
875 | Crazy Bastard Sword | Weapon | The Sleazy Back Alley | This is the sword
formerly wielded by a crazy bastard. He wanted to hit you with it, but
instead, you hit him with something and took it. Go, you! |
754 | Cream Of Pointy Mushroom Soup | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
924 | Crimbo Elfling (Retired) | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This is a baby
Crimbo Elf, one of the ill-tempered midgets used as slave labor by Father
Crimbo. You can tell it's a boy elfling because it doesn't have wings. |
649 | Crimbo Hat | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is a stylish hat made out
of wrapping paper. The foil in the wrapping paper also protects you from
spooky cosmic rays. |
650 | Crimbo Pants | Pants | Inventory - Smith | These are pants made out of
recycled wrapping paper. Stylish, but somewhat uncomfortable. |
644 | Crimbo Pressie (Reitred) | Usable | Crimbo 2003 | This is a
present, given to you for Crimbo. |
941 | Crimbo Stocking (Retired) | Usable | Crimbo 2004 | This is a
stocking that is probably full of goodies. Normally you'd have hung this
by the chimney with care on the night before Crimbo, but you don't have a
chimney. That being the case, you just carelessly left it at the bottom
of a pile of dirty laundry. Luckily, Father Crimbo found it and filled it
up for you. |
648 | Crimbo Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a sword made of
wrapping paper. It's capable of producing both festive good cheer and
nasty, nasty papercuts. |
109 | Crossbow String | | The Meatsmith | This is a string which
could be used to turn something into a crossbow. Funny how that works. |
414 | Crowbarrr | Weapon | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a crowbarrr from The
Obligatory Pirate's Cove. The pirates probably used it to pry open chests
to get to the booty inside. Or the chestnuts. Because sometimes the
chests contained chestnuts. The pirates were usually pretty disappointed
when this was the case. To avoid such disappointment, you should only use
this crowbarrr to smite your enemies. Or to crack open your chestnuts. |
313 | Crown Of The Goblin King (Once Only) | Hat | The Cobb's Knob King's Chamber | This
is the crown which was worn by the now-deposed King of Cobb's Knob. This
is much better than that crappy Dolphin crown. |
83 | Crusty L-Shaped Piece Of Metal | | The Haiku Dungeon | This is a
crusty piece of metal shaped like an L. The crust on it is also shaped
like an L. |
1201 | Cryptic Puzzle Box | | | Legend has it that if you figure out how to open this box, a bunch of sharp hooks on chains will pop out of it and drag you down to Hey Deze. Which doesn't explain why once anyone hears that, they just have to try and open the box. Thankfully, this is just a replica of the original. Much easier to open, and without all that pesky flaying. |
899 | Custom Avatar Form | | The Mr. Store | This is a form that
can be used to order a custom avatar for your character -- a picture that
will replace your normal picture in your character pane and the page
other people see when they view your profile. |
894 | Dark Jill-O-Lantern (Retired) | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This poor
pumpkin has been a victim of horrific violence. All its insides are gone
and there's a crude, but distinctly feminine face carved into the front
of it. |
826 | Dark Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a bottle
shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might ask?
You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
230 | Dead Guy's Watch | Accessory | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a dead guy's
watch. Wearing this will probably help you get places on time. |
211 | Decorative Fountain | Usable | The Hippy Camp | This is a tiny water
fountain with some stalks of bamboo growing in it. |
602 | Degrassi Knoll Shopping List (Once Only) | Usable | Degrassi Knoll |
This is a shopping list you found at Degrassi Knoll. |
573 | Delicious Noodles | Food | Inventory - Cook | These herb-infused
noodles look delicious and nutritious. |
574 | Delicious Spicy Noodles | Food | Inventory - Cook | These noodles,
cooked with both herbs and spices, are both delicious and spicy. The
herbs make them delicious, and the spices make them spicy. The reason for
this is that ?herby? isn't a word. |
295 | Demonskin Trousers (Retired) | Pants | The Daily Dungeon | This is a
pair of pants made of demonskin. It's red, and warm to the touch, even
when not being worn. |
499 | Denim Axe | Weapon | The Palindome | This is a denim axe. It can cut
through anything, except for jeans. |
258 | Dense Meat Stack | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a very dense
stack of meat. |
925 | Dental Pliers | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | Did you know the secret
ambition of all Crimbo Elves is to be dentists? Strange but true. Now
your Crimbo Elf can extract loot and beat on your enemies with much more
gusto. With these pliers. |
178 | Detective Skull | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This is a talking skull.
It's pretty smart, and it uses its powers of deduction to solve
mysteries. Talking to it will probably provide all sorts of useful
information. |
472 | Diamond-Studded Cane | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a bejeweled
cane. Bitch betta' have yo Meat. |
536 | Dictionary (Once Only) | Combat Item | The Untinker | This is a regular
old dictionary. It contains a lot of words, their definitions, and their
proper pronunciations. |
691 | Digital Key | | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is a 21st Century
digital key. It doesn't know how to live, but it probably knows how to
open a door... somewhere... |
759 | Dill | | The Spectral Pickle Factory | This is a handful of dried-up dill
weed. Don't let it hear you say that, though -- nobody likes being called
a dried-up dill weed. |
767 | Dill Potion | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a potent potion
(potable) made with delicious dill (delectable.) |
146 | Dinghy Plans (Once Only) | Usable | The Shore Inc. | This is a set of
blueprints that tell you how to make a dinghy. Now if you just had some
planks... |
141 | Dingy Dinghy (Once Only) | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a
dinghy, which is made of dingy planks. It's not pretty, but it's
seaworthy. |
140 | Dingy Planks | | The Hermitage | This is a stack of planks
of dingy wood. The dinge would probably make them watertight. |
565 | Dirty Hobo Gloves | Weapon | The Sleazy Back Alley | This is a pair of
filthy hobo gloves. Their pungent stench makes them useful as a weapon.
|
948 | Dirty Martini | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a martini with extra
olive goodness. Which is to say that it is a martini that focuses on the
very best part of an ordinary martini. |
196 | Disassembled Clover | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a ten-leaf
clover from which the leaves have been pulled. It doesn't seem nearly as
lucky this way. |
154 | Disco 'Fro Pick (Once Only - Class Based) | Weapon | The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave | This is a pick for the maintenance and adornment of your 'fro. It is
imbued with the Moxie of countless generations of Disco Bandits. |
10 | Disco Ball | Usable | The Sewer | This is a disco ball, which can
be used to liven up a disco party. |
54 | Disco Banjo | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is the Disco Banjo,
legendary weapon of the Disco Bandits. Lay down the boogie, and play that
funky music 'til your enemies grovel before you. |
9 | Disco Mask | Hat | The Sewer | This mask allows you to disco
dance like a pro. And by pro, I mean pro-fessional disco dancer. |
452 | Disease | Combat Item | The "Fun" House | This is a handful of germs. This
would probably give a monster a pretty nasty disease. |
176 | Disembodied Brain | Usable | Fernswarthy's Tower | This is a brain in a
jar. It appears to be pretty well-preserved. |
632 | Disturbing Fanfic | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This is a hundred pages
of animals from a popular cartoon doing horrible and disgusting things to
each other. |
232 | Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment | Combat/Usable Item | The Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show | This is a
can of Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment -- guaranteed to cure all of
life's ills.This item will heal a moderate number of hit points. |
234 | Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir | Combat/Usable Item | Multiple, Format Coming | This is
a bottle of Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir -- guaranteed to cure all
of life's ills.This item will heal a goodly number of hit points. |
231 | Doc Galaktik's Pungent Unguent | Combat/Usable Item | The Doc Galaktik's Medicine Show | This is a
jar of Doc Galaktik's Pungent Unguent -- guaranteed to cure all of life's
ills.This item will heal a small number of hit points. |
233 | Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm | Combat/Usable Item | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a
tin of Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm -- guaranteed to cure all of
life's ills.This item will heal a moderate number of hit points. |
479 | Dodecagram (Once Only) | | The Dark Neck Of The Woods | This is a
twelve-pointed star in a circle. Or you could choose to interpret it as 2
6-pointed stars. Or 4 3-pointed stars (which I guess would technically
just be triangles.) |
137 | Dope Wheels | | Inventory - Combine | Check out these wheels,
homes. Nice tires, nice rims -- the ladies are really gonna dig these. |
568 | Double Bacon Beelzeburger | Food | Campground | This is at least
the second most evil hamburger you've ever seen. Maybe even the single
most evil. Looks pretty tasty, though. |
601 | Dr Hobo's Map (Once Only) | Usable | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | This is the map
given to you by the ghost of Dr. Hobo Jones. You remember him saying
something about a scalpel. |
600 | Dr Hobo's Scalpel (Once Only) | Weapon | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is the
scalpel once wielded by Dr. Hobo Jones. |
422 | Drab Potion | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This potion contains a drug
which makes things so boring that your mind shuts down for a while. In
the meantime, all of your mental energy is converted to physical energy.
In other words, your Strongness and Magicalness are swapped. Do I have to
spell it |
489 | Drab Sonata | Usable | The Palindome | This is the sheet music to
the most boring song you've ever heard. Er, read. |
541 | Draggin' Ball Hat | Hat | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a hat with
heavy iron balls attached to it. It's stylish, but really heavy. |
676 | Dragonbone Belt Buckle (Once Only) | | The Council Of Loathing | This
is a belt buckle fashioned from the sukll of an enormous bonerdagon. The
degree to which it was fashioned is exceeded only by the degree to which
it is fashionable. |
98 | Dried Face | | The Spooky Forest | This is a face, which is very
dry. |
115 | Dripping Meat Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a
moistened crossbow. It's been moistened with ketchup (or catsup, who
knows.) |
114 | Dripping Meat Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This staff is soaked
with ketchup (or catsup.) It's moist and delicious. |
113 | Dripping Meat Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This meat sword is
infused with ketchup. Or catsup. And it's very drippy. |
456 | Dry Martini | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | A delicious olive plus some
delicious gin equals a martini of extraordinary magnitude. Now that's
your kind of math! |
304 | Dry Noodles | | Multiple, Format Coming | These are dry noodles. There
is nothing clever which can be said about them. |
1019 | Dry Vodka Martini | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a delicious dry
vodka martini. It's dry because it's got a larger olive in it than a
regular vodka martini. Seriously. |
555 | Drywall Axe (Once Only) | Weapon | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is an axe
made out of drywall. It looks like it would be good for wallhacking, or
just hacking of the 'covered in monster guts afterward' type. |
1017 | Ducha De Oro | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of
tequila and orange juice with a girly paper umbrella in it. Drinking this
would probably make you feel like a pretty little mariposa. |
296 | Dungeoneer's Dungarees | Pants | The Limerick Dungeon | This is a pair of
dungarees, specially designed for the discriminating dungeoneer. They're
as fashionable as they are protective. Which is to say, not very. |
910 | Dwarf Bread | Food | Halloween | Elves are short, willowy, and
light in the loafers. Elfin bread is light and airy and melts in your
mouth. Dwarves are tall, stout, hairy and hardy. Their bread can also be
used as a blunt instrument. |
347 | Dyspepsi-Cola | Combat/Usable Item | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a can of
Dyspepsi-Cola, one of the two indistinguishable frontrunners in the
Kingdom of Loathing Cola Wars. |
157 | E-Z Cook Oven | Crafting Item | The Demon Market | This is an E-Z Cook Oven. A
baker is you! |
735 | Easter Egg Balloon (Once Only) | Accessory | The Perplexing Door | This is a
balloon. Like most balloons, it's shaped just like an Easter Egg. Unlike
most balloons, it's also colored just like an Easter Egg. It's pretty
cute. Er, stylish. I didn't just say ?cute.? |
824 | Effervescent Potion | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a
bottle shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might
ask? You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
932 | Eggnog | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a glass of eggnog. It's
slimy, sickeningly sweet, and a disturbing shade of beige. About the only
good thing you can say about it is that it's got some booze in it. |
155 | El Sombrero De Lopez (Once Only - Class Based) | Hat | The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave | This is the hat which was until recently worn by Somerset Lopez,
Dread Mariachi.Now it's worn by you, you Moxious avenger you. |
151 | Elder Turtle Shell (Once Only - Class Based) | Hat | The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave | This is the shell of one of the ancient order of Elder Turtles,
untimely ripped from his brutally slain corpse.It retains his strength
and determination. |
481 | Eldritch Butterknife | | The Dark Elbow Of The Woods | This butterknife
pulses with malevolent energy. And malevolent dullness. |
500 | Elf Farm Raffle Ticket | Usable | The Palindome | This is a ticket
to the Elf Farm Raffle. Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you? |
501 | Elfin Shortbread | Food | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a delicious
chunk of shortbread, made by elves. They probably live in a tree, or
something similar to a tree. Like, umm, a different tree. |
1081 | Emo Roe (Retired) | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This is the egg of an
extremely emotional fish of some sort. Remember the band ?An Emotional
Fish?? Yeah, nobody else does, either. |
124 | Empty Meat Tank | | Degrassi Knoll | This is a meat tank with
no meat in it. Why, if there's no meat in it, is it called a meat tank?
The world may never know. |
85 | Empty Orcish Meat Locker | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is an empty
meat locker. You could probably use this to store meat at your campsite.
|
271 | Enchanted Barbell | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a barbell which
has been imbued with a powerful magic spell. A few minutes with this and
you'll be noticeably stronger. |
186 | Enchanted Bean | Usable | The Batrat and Ratbat Burrow | This is a bean, but it's
not an ordinary bean -- it's enchanted! Of course, all of the beans in
the Kingdom of Loathing are enchanted, so I guess it actually is an
ordinary bean. |
317 | Enchanted Bean Burrito | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is like an
ordinary bean burrito, only enchanted. |
686 | Enchanted Brass Knuckles | Accessory | The Smacketeria | This is a pair of
brass knuckles imbued with powerful sorcery. You could split a lot more
lips if you were wearing these. |
130 | Enchanted Eyepatch | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This is an eyepatch,
which is just full to the brim with enchantment. Hoo-wee is this eyepatch
enchanted. |
491 | Enormous Belt Buckle | | The Palindome | This is more belt
buckle than any man needs, which, if you think about it, is no belt
buckle at all. Shiny, though. |
640 | Ent Cider (Retired) | Beverage | The Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort | This is a bottle full
of glowing golden essence of hipster Ent. It smells good and tastes
delicious, but you don't want to think about where it might have come
from. |
425 | Equilibrium Juice | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a potion made
up of the concentrated essence of equilibrium and stability. Oh, and
lime. Can't forget the lime. |
846 | Especially Homoerotic Frat-Paddle (Jick) | Weapon | Jick |
This frat-paddle is even more homoerotic than most frat paddles. That's
really saying something. |
762 | Especially Salty Dog | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a salty dog
that has been made especially salty. Your tongue hurts just thinking
about it. |
478 | Evil Golden Arch | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a fiendish
curve of golden metal. You estimate that it's about half pure evil. |
504 | Evil Golden Arches | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a pair of
sinister golden arches. Who knows what manner of evil they will spawn? |
651 | Exclusive Ultra-Rare Item (Jick) | Accessory | Jick | This is
an extremely rare item. It's so rare that it can't be found at all. |
951 | Extra Special Crimbo Stocking (Retired) | Usable | Crimbo 2004 |
This is a stocking that is probably full of even better goodies than a
normal Crimbo stocking. Also, it points the other way at the bottom. How
lucky you are to have gotten one of these! |
257 | Extra-Spicy Bloody Mary | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a
Bloody Mary with a kick. Actually, two kicks. First it kicks you in the
mouth, then it kicks you in the head. |
277 | Extra-Strength Strongness Elixir | Usable | The Daily Dungeon | This
elixir will make you stronger. So you can drink more elixir. So you can
get stronger. So you can drink more elixir. So you can get stronger...
|
149 | eXtreme Meat Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This crossbow is to
the limit. |
148 | eXtreme Meat Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This meat staff is to
the limit. |
147 | eXtreme Meat Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This meat sword is to
the limit. |
399 | eXtreme Mittens | Accessory | The eXtreme Slope | This is a pair of eXtreme
mittens. They'll keep your hands eXtremely warm, without interfering with
that which separates you from the animals -- your lack of razor-sharp
claws. |
195 | eXtreme Nose Ring | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This nose ring is pretty
eXtreme. |
355 | eXtreme Scarf | Hat | The eXtreme Slope | This is an eXtreme scarf.
It's red, with little white eXtreme reindeer knitted into it. This thing
will keep you wicked warm. |
860 | Eye-Pod | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This pod is completely covered
with all-seeing eyes. Its cosmic vibrations are in tune with the music of
the Spheres. This thing would probably get your baby gravy fairy busting
all kinds of new moves. |
224 | Eyepatch | Familiar Equipment | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a regular old eyepatch.
You'd wear this if you only had one eye, or if you were dressing like a
pirate. Arrrr. |
538 | F3d0r4 | Hat | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a snazzy hat! It makes you
feel like 1nd1ana J0ne5. |
80 | Fairy Gravy | | The Haiku Dungeon | This is an enchanted tureen
of Fairy Gravy. It smells delicious -- magically delicious. |
274 | Familiar-Gro? Terrarium | Usable | The Demon Market | This is the roomy
and affordable Familiar-Gro Terrarium. Turn your home or campsite into a
breeding grounds for all manner of helpful creatures! |
581 | Fancy Schmancy Cheese Sauce | | Inventory - Cook | This is some
fancy sauce made with goat cheese. This sauce would probably taste better
if you were wearing fancy pants, Fancypants. |
185 | Fat Stacks Of Cash | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | These are some fat
stacks of cash. Too bad you can't spend cash in the Kingdom of
Loathing.Oh well. Maybe somebody else can use it for something. |
210 | Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots | Usable | The Hippy Camp | This is a
book which illustrates the principes of the ancient art of Feng Shui
using very short, very simple sentences. |
927 | Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel (Retired) | Booze | Uncle P's Antiques - Purchase Of Villa (Retired) | This
is a bottle of fine wine, straight from the vineyards of the Old Country.
It's dry and full-bodied, like a fat mummy. It tastes better than a fat
mummy, though. Slightly. |
247 | Fermenting Powder | | The Demon Market | This is a little bit
of magical powder that will cause things to ferment at a greatly
accelerated rate. |
529 | Fertilized Ghuol Egg | Familiar | Inventory - Combine | This is a ghuol egg
which has been fertilized. It'd probably hatch, given the proper
conditions. |
583 | Fettucini Inconnu | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a cheesy pasta
dish of great mystery. Its origins? Lost in the mists of time. Its
effects? Unknown. Its aroma? Delightful. |
870 | Fetus-Smashing Club (Jick) | Weapon | Jick | This Bashy's
club. Bashy hate fetus. Therefore, club hate fetus. |
955 | Fez Of Etymology | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This powerful enchanted
fez bestows upon its wearer the ability to instantly discern the origin
of any word he or she encounters. What could you do with a fez like this?
Why, look stylish, of course! |
213 | Filthy Corduroys | Pants | The Hippy Camp | This is a pair of filthy
corduroys. It's filthy because it came from the wardrobe of a filthy,
filthy hippy. |
700 | Filthy Hippy Poncho | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
214 | Filthy Knitted Dread Sack | Hat | The Hippy Camp | This is a
filthy knitted sack, which can be used by a filthy hippy to contain his
or her filthy, filthy dreadlocks. You still don't know what the colors
mean. Red, black, and green. |
255 | Fine Wine | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a bottle of fine wine,
from the Flachtweide Wecker vineyards. That's what the bottle says, at
least. |
731 | Fish Hose (Once Only) | | The Perplexing Door | This is a length
of rubber hose that smells like fish. Wanna know what else is made of
rubber and smells like fish? A tupperware container full of fish, that's
what. Pervert. |
729 | Fishbowl (Once Only) | | The Perplexing Door | This is a fishbowl.
It's an anagram of blowfish, but unlike a blowfish, it's made of glass
and remains a constant size. It's also an anagram of flishbow, but unlike
flishbow, it's actually a word. |
730 | Fishtank (Once Only) | | The Perplexing Door | This is a fishtank.
And by fish, I mean oxygen. Why? Simple. Fish is like oxygen, in that you
can't survive without either of them, except for fish. |
825 | Fizzy Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a bottle
shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might ask?
You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
473 | Flaming Crutch | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is like a normal
crutch, only it's on fire. This would be useful if you found youself
without the use of one of your legs, and posessed of fireproof armpits |
755 | Flaming Mushroom | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
544 | Flaming Talons | Accessory | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | These are the claws of a
flaming troll. Sharp + Hot Dangerous. |
301 | Flat Dough | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a wad of dough which
has been smashed flat. |
701 | Floral Print Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1149 | Flower Petal Pie | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a pie made out
of flower petals. It seems like it's probably much tastier than a pie
made out of bicycle pedals. Easier on your teeth, too. |
448 | Foolscap Fool's Cap | Hat | The "Fun" House | This is a fool's cap,
made of paper. Pretty cheap. |
772 | Foon | Weapon | The Limerick Dungeon | This is a plastic implement that
combines the properties of a fork and a spoon. Which is to say that it's
a fork with wide, flat tines. Basically useless. |
869 | Forest Tears | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | This is a vial of tears
cried by a homeless forest spirit. Awwww. |
61 | Fortune Cookie | Usable | The Hermitage | This is a fortune cookie,
manufactured by HNSTY (pronounced with an 'NSTY'.)It smells lemony and
Nethack-esque. |
353 | Frigid Ninja Stars | Combat Item | The Lair Of The Ninja Snowmen | This is a set of three
throwing stars of the sort used by the Ninja Snowmen. They're ice-cold
and deadly accurate. |
696 | Frilly Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
131 | Frilly Skirt | Pants | Degrassi Knoll | This is a really cute skirt.
|
526 | Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (Once Only) | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a portable house, with a label on it reading
?Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House. Just add water!? |
756 | Frozen Mushroom | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
354 | Frozen Nunchaku | Weapon | The Lair Of The Ninja Snowmen | This is a set of nunchaku
which will make your hands numb, Chuck. Get it? Numb-chucks? |
646 | Fruitcake | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a fruitcake. It's like
a big brown brick, with little pieces of cherries, apricots, and papayas
in it. Mostly papayas. Great. |
125 | Full Meat Tank | | Inventory - Combine | This is a meat tank which
is full of meat. There's no question as to why this is called a meat
tank. |
616 | Furry Fur | | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This is the fur from a furry.
By which I mean it's the fur from a costume worn by a friggin' pervert.
|
631 | Furry Pants | Pants | Inventory - Smith | This is a pair of extremely
thick, extremely furry pants, with velcro flaps in both the front and
back. You're more comfortable if you don't think about the flaps. |
799 | Fuzzbump | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of rum, lime
juice, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you blush. |
928 | Fuzzy Bracelets (Jick) | Accessory | Jick | This is a pair of
fuzzy bracelets that are, for some reason, connected together with a
strong steel chain. What could these things possibly be used for? |
387 | Fuzzy Dice (Once Only) | Familiar | The Shore Inc. | What's fuzzy and
has twelve sides? These things. Or, I suppose, some sort of fuzzy
dodecahedron. But definitely these things. |
281 | Gasmask (Retired) | Hat | The Daily Dungeon | This will protect you
from all noxious fumes, with the exception of any noxious fumes that come
from inside your own head. |
607 | Gauze Immateria (Once Only) | | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a
small sphere of the purified essense of gauze. It's very wispy. |
1082 | Gazing Shoes | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a set of eight tiny
shoes, perfect for being gazed at by an Emo Squid. |
758 | Ghost Cucumber | Food | The Spectral Pickle Factory | This is the ghost of a
cucumber. Or maybe it's the cucumber of a ghost - y'know, like a ghost
was walking around with some cucumbers, and it accidentally dropped one?
|
766 | Ghost Pickle On A Stick | Familiar | Inventory - Cook | This is the
ghost of a pickle on a stick. Er, I should rephrase that. It's the ghost
of a pickle, AND it's on a stick. The stick wasn't part of the pre-ghost
pickle. It's moving around spookily. |
763 | Ghostly Pickling Solution | | Inventory - Cook | This is a
liquid that looks like it could pickle something. Something ghostly. |
166 | Ghuol Ears | | Multiple, Format Coming | These are the ears from a
ghuol. They're pretty meaty. Y'know, as far as ears go. |
161 | Ghuol Egg | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is an egg from a ghuol.
Bet you didn't even know they laid eggs. |
162 | Ghuol Egg Quiche | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a
delicious-smelling quiche made from a ghuol egg. |
669 | Ghuol Guolash | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a steaming dish of
stew made from tomatoes, noodles, and the decaying flesh of a ghuol. Gah.
|
167 | Ghuol-Ear Kabob | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a skewer of
roasted ghuol ears. |
667 | Giant Castle Map (Once Only) | Usable | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a
map that appears to lead to the resting place of something called a
?Quantum Duck.? Intriguing. |
1151 | Giant Discarded Plastic Fork (Once Only) | Weapon | The Council Of Loathing |
This is a giant plastic fork that was thrown away by somebody giant after
eating something slightly less giant, but still pretty giant. The tines
are pretty dull, but it's big enough that you can use it as a staff. |
273 | Giant Moxie Weed | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a huge Moxie
weed. It's not wee, it's not not-so-wee, it's friggin' HUGE! |
619 | Giant Needle | Weapon | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This is the needle from a
giant record player. Like most of the things in this castle, it's very
large. Unlike most of the things in this castle, however, it's also
wicked sharp. |
934 | Gingerbread Bugbear (Reitred) | Food | Crimbo 2004 | This is a
bugbear made of gingerbread. Isn't it cute? With its little eyes made of
frosting and its little arms also made of frosting and its little mouth
also also made of frosting? Gingerbread tastes like neither ginger nor
bread. Discuss. |
330 | Glass Of Goat's Milk | Beverage | The Goatlet | This is a glass of
milk.The milk came from a goat. The goat came from the Mountains. You
don't know where the glass came from. |
629 | Glowing Red Eye | Accessory | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is the eye from a
MagiMechTech MechaMech. Its power source appears to be intact, in that
it's still glowing. |
497 | Gnatwing | | The Palindome | This is the wing of a tan gnat.
Yep. |
505 | Gnatwing Earring | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a gnatwing
earring. Earwingring. Whatever. it's pretty, for jewelry made out of
insect parts. |
585 | Gnocchetti Di Nietzsche | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a pasta
dish with a savory mushroom sauce. When you look into this bowl, this
bowl also looks into you. Talking about this pasta can also be a means to
conceal this pasta. And that's enough of that. |
172 | Gnoll Lips | Usable | Degrassi Knoll | This is the set of lips from a
Gnoll. He wasn't using them anymore. |
220 | Gnoll Teeth | | Degrassi Knoll | These are teeth from a Gnoll.
They'd look good on a necklace. |
221 | Gnoll-Tooth Necklace | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a necklace
made out of Gnoll teeth. Pretty intimidating. |
127 | Gnollish Autoplunger | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a Gnollish
Autoplunger. It can be used to quickly unclog toilets, or to lay a
foul-smelling smack down on someone or something. |
123 | Gnollish Flyswatter | Weapon | Degrassi Knoll | This is a flyswatter
used by the Gnollish Flyslayers of Degrassi Knoll. |
129 | Gnollish Nunchaku (Retired) | Weapon | Degrassi Knoll | This is a
pair of Gnollish numb-chucks. Nun-chucks. Noon-chocka. |
158 | Gnollish Pie Tin | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a pie tin used
by Gnollish bakers to bake pies. Gnollish pies. |
117 | Gnollish Plunger | Weapon | Degrassi Knoll | This is the plunger
favored as a weapon by the Gnolls of Degrassi Knoll. |
533 | Gnollish Toolbox | Usable | Degrassi Knoll | This is a toolbox dropped
by a Gnollish Gearhead. It's probably got machine parts inside it. |
327 | Goat | Familiar | Inventory - Combine | This is a baby goat. Isn't he cute,
with his little beard and everything? |
329 | Goat Beard | Hat | The Goatlet | This is the beard from a goat.
|
322 | Goat Cheese | Food | The Goatlet | This is cheese made from
goat's milk. What will they think of next? |
325 | Goat Cheese Pizza | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a pizza with
goat cheese on it. It smells good. |
792 | Golden Mr. Accessory | Accessory | The Mr. Store | This is an accessory.
A really, really nice one. This is an item which, in addition to
providing the stat boost of a normal Mr. Accessory, allows its bearer to
temporarily bestow, 5 times per day, the same benefit on other players. |
66 | Golden Twig | | The Hermitage | This is a golden twig. The
Oriole would probably dig it. |
879 | Goofballs | Usable | The Suspicious Looking Guy | This is a bottle of pills
labeled ?goofballs.? Something tells you that it'd probably be a bad idea
to take these. |
703 | Goth Kid T-Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
748 | Gourd Potion (Limited) | Usable | The Gourd Tower | This is a tiny
hollowed out gourd that contains a fizzing orange liquid. |
358 | Gr8ps | Food | The eXtreme Slope | These are like normal grapes, only
more eXtreme! |
243 | Grapefruit | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a grapefruit. It's
fruit, but it's nothing like a grape. |
420 | Grapefruit Juice Of Powerful Power | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This
is a potion made from grapefruit juice. Drink it, and you'll be as Strong
as a grapefruit, as Magical as a grapefruit, and as Moxious as a
grapefruit. Moreso, actually, in all three cases. |
244 | Grapes | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a bunch of wild grapes. Or
maybe they're domesticated grapes. I forget. |
671 | Grave Robbing Shovel | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a shovel
used for robbing graves. Too bad it can't also be used as a figurative
shovel, for burying the guilt you'd feel if you ever used it. |
1041 | Green Beer | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a beer infused with
something that makes it green. Is it easy bein' green? I don't know.
You'll have to ask this beer. |
462 | Green Pixel | | The 8-Bit Realm | This strange object appears
to be a green dot, which could not, no matter how hard you tried, be
separated into any smaller pieces. Weird. |
466 | Green Pixel Potion | Combat/Usable Item | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is a green potion
made of pixels. The resolution isn't high enough for it to bubble, but if
it was, you can believe that it'd be bubbling with HP and MP restoring
goodness. |
790 | Grog | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink whose origins and
composition are shrouded in mystery. It smells pretty good. |
949 | Grogtini | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is grog, with a fancy
garnish, served in a martini glass. Somehow these two additions make it
much, much better than regular grog. |
525 | Grue Egg (Once Only) | Familiar | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is an egg laid
by a grue. You're assuming a grue will hatch from it. |
189 | Guano Coffee Cup | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a coffee cup
made out of bat guano.It's about as nasty as you expected it to be. |
156 | Guild Application (Retired) | | The Council Of Loathing | This is an
application to one of the Professional Guilds of Loathing. You should
take it to the Council in the Seaside Town. |
190 | Guild Pants (Retired) | Pants | The Council Of Loathing | Note: Guild Pants
were given to adventurers when they beat the Boss Bat. In early summer of
2003 they were replaced by the Batskin Belt, which dropped alongside the
Boss Bat Bandana. (MaxDemian) |
488 | Guitar Pick | | The Palindome | This is an ordinary guitar
pick. It's so ordinary that it's completely boring. |
704 | Hamethyst | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
713 | Hamethyst Bracelet | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
711 | Hamethyst Earring | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
712 | Hamethyst Necklace | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
710 | Hamethyst Pendant | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
714 | Hamethyst Ring | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
914 | Hand Turkey Outline (Retired) | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This is
the larval form of the Hand Turkey, a flightless but ferocious bird that
pecks the eyes out of its enemies before stealing all of their Meat. |
1162 | Handsomeness Potion | Usable | South Of The Border | This potion will
make you irresistable to the ladies. Or the guys, if that's your thing.
Look, we don't ask questions here. It might also make your life more
dangerous, though. |
936 | Hanukkimbo Dreidl (Retired) | Familiar | Crimbo 2004 | This is a
dreidl from another holiday, mistakenly placed in with the Crimbo loot.
It looks pretty neat, though -- shiny, made of clay, and sparkling with
mystical energy. It's even better than Jennifer Aniston. |
693 | Harem Girl T-Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
48 | Heart Of Rock and Roll | | Inventory - Combine | Somehow, the
combination of a big rock and a hot buttered roll has produced this
living, beating heart. It's sort of gross, actually. |
611 | Heavy D | | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This is a letter D of
extraordinary magnitude. The girls, the girls, they love it. |
56 | Heavy Hot Sauce | | Inventory - Cook | This is a sauce made from
gravel and jabanero pepper juice. It's heavy, and it's hot. That's why
it's called ?heavy hot sauce.? |
508 | Heavy Metal Sonata | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This sheet music is
the very essence of heavy metal. It's so heavy and metallic you can't
lift it, but you can sure dig its evil groove. All hail the Dark Lord. |
507 | Heavy Metal Thunderrr Guitarrr | Usable | Inventory - Combine | You like
smoke and lightning, this, and racing with the wind. |
728 | Hedge Maze Key (Once Only) | | The Hedge Maze | This is the
key you found in the hedge maze. |
727 | Hedge Maze Puzzle (Once Only) | | The Hedge Maze | This is a
tiny wooden puzzle that you took from one of the topiary golems in the
Naughty Sorceress' hedge maze. It's... puzzling. |
506 | Hell Broth | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a potent broth,
simmered over the very fires of Hey Deze. It smells savory and brimstony.
|
578 | Hell Ramen | Food | Inventory - Cook | These are ramen noodles that
taste like hell. These differ from other ramen noodles in that... er...
hey, look over there! |
476 | Hellion Cube | | Multiple, Format Coming | In the same way that a
bullion cube is a potent combination of salt and bull, this is a potent
combination of salt and Hell. |
90 | Helmet Recipe | Usable | The Meatsmith | This is a recipe which tells
you how to cook up a sturdy (and tasty) meat helmet. |
3 | Helmet Turtle | Hat | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a turtle, which for some reason doesn't mind being worn as a helmet. |
484 | Hemp Backpack (Unimplemented) | Container | Unimplemented | This is a
backpack made out of hemp, which was probably woven together by some
filthy hippy. It's ugly, it smells awful, and the straps chafe your
shoulders, but it's roomy. I guess they need lots of space for all of
their drug paraphernalia and hacky sacks. |
218 | Hemp Bracelet | Accessory | The Hippy Camp | This is a bracelet made of
hemp. It's got a spot where you could probably weave things into the
hemp. |
417 | Henna Tattoo | Usable | The Hippy Camp (In Disguise) | This is a henna tattoo. The
design supposedly has some sort of tribal significance. Or maybe it's
Japanese or something. Anyway, putting it on might make something Magical
happen. You never know. |
217 | Herb Brownies | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | These are some brownies
with some herbs mixed into them. Seems sort of suspicious. |
203 | Herbs | | Multiple, Format Coming | These are herbs, fresh from some
hippy's garden. |
42 | Hermit Permit | | The Demon Market | This is a permit which
allows you to make a pilgrimage to see the Hermit who lives beyond The
Spooky Forest. |
567 | Hermit Script | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a scroll which
contains a sequence of incomprehensible characters, organized in sets of
curly braces. |
847 | Heteroerotic Frat-Paddle (Jick) | Weapon | Jick | The is
one of the rarest items in the Universe -- a frat paddle with absolutely
no aura of homoeroticism. |
516 | Hey Deze Map (Once Only) | Usable | The Deep Fat Friar's Gate | This is a map to
the dead center of the Infernal Realm of Hey Deze.A note in the margin,
scrawled in blood, reads ?WOE BETIDE YE, WHO ENTERS HERE WITHOUT SUITABLE
MUSIC FOR OUR DARK LORD.? |
509 | Hey Deze Nuts | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | These are some wild and
crazy imps, and they're carrying tiny shovels. Hmm... |
582 | Himalayan Hidalgo Sauce | | Inventory - Cook | This is a tasty
sauce made with mushrooms. You're not exactly sure why it's called
Himalayan Hidalgo Sauce, but then again, you're not exactly sure of a lot
of things. |
1034 | Hippo Skin Buckler | Accessory | Inventory - Smith | This is a buckler made
of hippo skin. It's tough. So tough that just looking at it makes you
feel tougher. |
1029 | Hippo Whip | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is like a bullwhip, only
made with hippo skin instead of bull skin. It's got hippo fingernails on
the end, making it really, really painful. If you get hit with it, that
is. It's not painful to look at, or anything. |
398 | Hippopotamus Pants | Pants | Inventory - Smith | This is a pair of
pants made out of hippopotamus skin. They make your ass feel as tough as
a hippopotamus. And a hippopotamus is pretty tough, believe me. |
395 | Hippopotamus Skin | | T3h L33t Tr4pz0r | This is the skin of a
hippopotamus. This reminds you of a
haiku:hippopotamusantihippopotamusannihilation |
207 | Hippy Herbal Tea | Beverage | Inventory - Cook | This is herbal tea. It's
probably made of chamomile, or jasmine, or some other kind of hippy crap.
|
241 | Homoerotic Frat-Paddle | Weapon | The Orcish Frat House | This is a paddle
used in some sort of Orcish Frat initiation ritual. |
683 | Horizontal Tango | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of
whiskey, lemon, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you blush.
|
733 | Hosed Fishbowl (Once Only) | | Inventory - Combine | This is a
fishbowl with a fish hose attached to it. Now if only you had a bag of
sand and a big ruby, you could go around making all of the Goth girls
swoon. |
732 | Hosed Tank (Once Only) | | Inventory - Combine | This is a fish
(oxygen) tank with a fish hose attached to it. Don't get your hosed tank
near any tanked hos. There's no telling what they might do with it. |
47 | Hot Buttered Roll | Food | The Hermitage | This is, as its name
implies, a hot buttered roll. It looks delicious. |
350 | Hot Katana Blade | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is the blade of a
katana. The only thing interesting about it is that it's really really
hot. So be careful with it. And wipe your nose. |
471 | Hot Wing | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a delicious hot wing.
It's hot, and, er, yeah, I got nothin'. |
1165 | Hovering Sombrero | Familiar | Inventory - Combine | This hat appears to be
hovering a couple feet off the ground. Actually, it has a ghost
underneath it holding it up. So it's never just a hat, it's never only
just a hat, you know. |
726 | Huge Mirror Shard (Once Only) | Weapon | The Huge Mirror | This is not
a huge shard from a mirror, this is a shard from a huge mirror. There's
an important distinction, but it escapes you. The distinction, not the
shard. |
878 | Hypnodisk | Accessory | The Deep Fat Friar's Gate | This is a whirling disk with a
hypnotic pattern on it. If you wear this thing on your lapel, monsters
will be really freaked out. Like, whoah. |
848 | Hypodermic Needle | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a tiny syringe
that has been custom-made to be operated by a mosquito. How, you might
ask? Yup, you certainly might ask. This should make the mosquito's blood
collection much more efficient. |
41 | Ice-Cold Beer | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a can of Sir Schlitz,
the beer that made the Kingdom of Loathing famous. Mmmmm. Sir Schlitz. |
81 | Ice-Cold Beer | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a can of Willer. When
you come home after a hard day of adventuring, it's Willer Time! |
180 | Ice-Cold Fotie | Booze | The Orcish Frat House | This is an ice-cold
fotie-ouncer of Olde Loathingish. |
138 | Ice-Cold Six-Pack | Accessory | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a delicious
six-pack of Sir Schlitz, the beer that made the Kingdom of Loathing
famous. |
349 | Icy Katana Hilt | | The Lair Of The Ninja Snowmen | This is the hilt of a
katana. The only interesting thing about it is that it's very very cold.
So don't stick your tongue to it. And stop making that face. |
351 | Icy-Hot Katana | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This Katana is both as
cold as ice (and willing to sacrifice your love) and too hot to handle
(now yes around.) |
935 | Imitation Nice Watch (Reitred) | Usable | Crimbo 2004 | This is a
cheaply-manufactured replica of a nice wristwatch. It's so poorly-made
that it occasionally runs backwards for a few minutes at a time. The
upshot is that you'll pretty much always be early for everything if you
wear it. |
470 | Imp Ale | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | Straight from the finest brewery
in Hey Deze, Imp Ale delivers full-bodied flavor, eternal damnation, and
just a touch of hops. |
876 | Incredibly Dense Meat Gem | Accessory | Itznotyerzitz Mine (In Disguise) | This is a gem
made out of incredibly densely-compressed meat. It throbs with meaty
gravity, in both the ?importance? and ?attraction to other physical
bodies? senses. Plus, it has a handly belt clip! |
477 | Infernal Insoles | Accessory | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a set of springy
pads that go inside your shoes. They're sure to put a spring in your
step, and the fires of Hey Deze in your black, black heart. |
316 | Insanely Spicy Bean Burrito | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a
bean burrito which has been made so spicy that it's almost inedible. |
319 | Insanely Spicy Enchanted Bean Burrito | Food | Inventory - Cook |
This is an enchanted bean burrito which is spicier than any other
enchanted bean burrito you've ever seen. |
916 | Intergalactic Pompoms (Jick) | Accessory | Jick | This is a set
of pom poms that look like they'd be perfect for some intergalactic
cheerleading. Now if only we knew what ?intergalactic cheerleading?
was? |
653 | Intragalactic Rowboat (Once Only) | | Inventory - Combine | This
is a craft designed for intragalactic (planetary) travel. Of course,
pretty much every vehicle is designed for intragalactic travel. Let's
differentiate this one by saying it's designed for intragalactic
travel... in space. |
1160 | Irate Sombrero | Hat | South Of The Border | This sombrero seems
awfully upset about something, especially for an inanimate object. It
seethes at you, as if it's daring you to even try to dance around it. |
777 | Iron Pasta Spoon (Retired) | Weapon | The Icy Peak | This is one of
the extra-heavy pasta spoons used by the Penguin Mafia Pasta Chefs.
Today's special ingredient is pain! |
603 | Item #13 (Jick) | Accessory | Jick | This is an item with
mysterious properties. No one is quite sure what those properties are. |
300 | Jaba?ero-Flavored Chewing Gum | Usable | South Of The Border | You're not
even sure this stuff *is* chewing gum. It's got a hard sugar coating over
a wee tiny bit of some mildly squishy substance. You're not convinced
that being chewy and gummy automatically make something chewing gum. I
mean, pencil erasers fall into that category. Except for the sugar part..
|
55 | Jabanero Pepper | | The Hermitage | This is one of the
hottest peppers you've ever seen. Just thinking about it makes your mouth
hurt. |
289 | Jarlsberg's Earring | Accessory | The Daily Dungeon | This is one of the
earrings worn by Jarlsberg, the most powerful Chef-Mage of the Times of
Old.It positively oozes Mysteriousness. |
283 | Jarlsberg's Key | | The Daily Dungeon | This is the key to the
Shrine of Jarlsberg, in the Big Mountains. |
511 | Jarlsberg's Key Lime | | Inventory - Cook | This is a lime,
with Jarlsberg's Key cooked into it. |
514 | Jarlsberg's Key Lime Pie | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a key
lime pie with the essence of Jarlsberg baked into it. It oozes with
flavor and Magicalness. |
709 | Jewelry-Making Pliers | | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | This is a pair of
enchanted pliers designed for crafting enchanted jewelry. |
278 | Jug-O-Magicalness | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This jug contains a
liquid. The liquid contains Magicalness. |
571 | Jumbo Dr. Lucifer | Beverage | Campground | This is a jumbo-sized
Infernal soda. Somehow the ice doesn't melt, despite the fact that it
appears to be boiling. |
455 | Jumbo Olive | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is one of the most
amazing olives you've ever seen. This olive is so amazing that you can't
imagine ever giving it away. |
229 | Kentucky-Fried Meat Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a
crossbow infused with a secret blend of herbs and spices. Mmmmm. |
228 | Kentucky-Fried Meat Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a meat
staff infused with a secret blend of herbs and spices. Mmmmm. |
227 | Kentucky-Fried Meat Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a meat
sword infused with a secret blend of herbs and spices. Mmmmm. |
20 | Kentucky-Style Derby | Hat | The Demon Market | This is a derby,
which looks like it probably came from Kentucky. |
106 | Ketchup | Food | The Hermitage | This is a bottle of ketchup. It's
different from catsup. |
493 | Ketchup Hound | Usable | The Palindome | This little guy is kind of
like a bloodhound, but not as icky. He looks pretty smart, though. Ayup.
|
521 | Kickback Cookbook | Accessory | Gouda's Grimoire And Grocery | This handy little tome
will teach you to get more out of your recipes. It's also highly
portable. |
776 | Kneecapping Stick (Retired) | Weapon | The Icy Peak | This is a
stick used by the Penguin Mafia to break the knees of those who fail to
bend to their whim. Because if you're not going to bend to the Penguin
Mafia's whims, your knees are not going to bend in the right direction
anymore. |
308 | Knob Goblin Elite Helm | Hat | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a helmet
like the ones worn by the elite guard of Cobb's Knob. |
309 | Knob Goblin Elite Pants | Pants | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a pair of
pants like the pants worn by the Knob Goblin Elite Guard. |
310 | Knob Goblin Elite Polearm | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a
polearm like the ones used by the Knob Goblin Elite Guard. |
694 | Knob Goblin Elite Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
747 | Knob Goblin Firecracker | Combat/Usable Item | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | This is a
firecracker produced by the Mad Scientists of Cobb's Knob. Seems
dangerous -- like it'd be pretty easy to blow off some of your fingers.
Or some of somebody else's fingers... |
305 | Knob Goblin Harem Pants | Pants | The Cobb's Knob Harem | This is a pair of
pants formerly worn by a Knob Goblin Harem Girl.They make you feel like
an unnatural woman. |
306 | Knob Goblin Harem Veil | Hat | The Cobb's Knob Harem | This is a veil
formerly worn by a Knob Goblin Harem Girl. |
341 | Knob Goblin Love Potion | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a potion
used by the girls of the Knob Goblin Harem. It will temporarily boost
your Moxie, at the cost of a few Strongness. |
38 | Knob Goblin Pants | Pants | Multiple, Format Coming | These are pants crafted
by Knob Goblin seamstresses. |
307 | Knob Goblin Perfume | Usable | The Cobb's Knob Harem | This is a bottle of
perfume from the Knob Goblin Harem. If you put it on, it will make you
smell like a Knob Goblin Harem Girl. |
35 | Knob Goblin Scimitar | Weapon | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | This is a curved
sword used by the Knob Goblins. And trust me -- you don't want to know
what they use it for. |
344 | Knob Goblin Seltzer | Combat/Usable Item | The Cobb's Knob Laboratory | This is a fizzy
beverage concocted by the Knob Goblin Mad Scientists.It will restore a
moderate number of MP when drunk. |
343 | Knob Goblin Sharpening Spray | Usable | The Cobb's Knob Laboratory | This is a
one-use spraycan full of a patented weapon-sharpening formula devised by
the Knob Goblin Mad Scientists. It will temporarily increase the damage
you deal with melee attacks. |
340 | Knob Goblin Steroids | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a single
does of the steroids preferred by the Knob Goblin Elite Guard. It will
give you a significant temporary boost to your strength, at the cost of
some Moxie. |
342 | Knob Goblin Stink Bomb | Combat Item | The Cobb's Knob Laboratory | This small bomb,
when lit, will unleash the stench of a dozen Knob Goblins. |
345 | Knob Goblin Superseltzer | Combat/Usable Item | The Cobb's Knob Laboratory | This is an
extremely fizzy beverage concocted by the Knob Goblin Mad Scientists. It
will restore a large number of MP when drunk. |
36 | Knob Goblin Tongs | Weapon | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | This is a set of tongs
used by the Knob Goblins during barbecues. The tongs are pretty heavy. |
51 | Knob Goblin Uberpants | Pants | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | These are the finest
pants that have ever been made. I mean, damn, Gina. These pants so fine,
in the 16th Century. |
312 | Knob Goblin Visor | Hat | The Cobb's Knob Treasury | This a visor worn by
the Knob Goblin Bean Counters. It's green, it's translucent, and it
positively oozes Moxie. |
401 | Knob Kitchen Grab-Bag | Usable | The Cobb's Knob Kitchens | This is a grab bag
from the kitchens of Cobb's Knob. It differs from other bags in that it
can be grabbed. |
303 | Knob Mushroom | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a tasty mushroom,
of a variety which grows only in the depths of Cobb's Knob. You should
hang out with this mushroom. It's a fungi. |
302 | Knob Sausage | Food | The Cobb's Knob Kitchens | This is a delicious sausage
prepared by the Knob Goblins. |
813 | Knob Sausage Chow Mein | Food | Inventory - Cook | This tasty dish
has all the eastern mystique of chow-mein and all the questionable
hygiene of the Knob Goblins and their filthy sausages. |
808 | Knob Sausage Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a stir-fry
of Knob sausage and vegetables. The vegetables are probably pretty good
for you, but the sausage is bad enough for you to make it a net loss. So
enjoy it, but get a new net as soon as possible. |
801 | Knob Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a delicious
stir-fry of Knob mushrooms. It smells as good as it looks, which is
pretty impressive, considering how good it looks. |
723 | Knoll Mushroom | Food | Degrassi Knoll | This is one of the
mushrooms that grows in the damp caverns beneath Degrassi Knoll. It
smells a little worse than your average mushroom, unless all of your
mushrooms are Knoll Mushrooms, in which case it smells exactly as bad as
your average mushroom. |
804 | Knoll Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a scrumptious
stir-fry of seasoned Knoll mushrooms. It smells of a delightful blend of
gnolls and hippies. |
532 | Ladle Of Mystery | Accessory | Gouda's Grimoire And Grocery | This is a ladle that is
somehow capable of scooping life energy directly from the Cosmic Sauce.
It's also got a handy lanyard ring. |
832 | Large Box | Usable | The Dungeons Of Doom | This is a large box. It
probably contains a number of things. Since it's a large box, that number
might be very large. It might also be very small. One thing we can say
for sure -- it's not less than zero. |
590 | Large Cocoa Eggshell Fragment | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a
slightly larger version of a slightly smaller fragment of chocolate
eggshell. |
1066 | Lavender Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with a lavender paisley pattern. You
haven't seen this much lavender paisley since... umm... y'know, I don't
think you've actually ever seen any lavender paisley before now. |
1067 | Lavender Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is a
lavender plastic imitation oyster egg. Of all the plastic imitation
oyster eggs you've seen in your life, this is definitely the most...
lavender. |
1065 | Lavender Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with lavender polka dots. What do you
suppose a lavender Yoshi would do? Probably redecorate your house, using
his tongue to distribute the throw pillows. |
1064 | Lavender Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with lavender stripes. It looks like a
tiny, round zebra, viewed through some kind of filter that makes black
look lavender. |
865 | Lead Necklace | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a tiny necklace
designed to make your familiar heavier. If your familiar was wearing
this, you'd no longer be able to walk around saying ?He ain't heavy, he's
my familiar.? |
492 | Leather Chaps | Pants | The Palindome | These chaps make you feel
mightier, until you realize that they leave your buttcheeks flappin' in
the wind. That reduces the mightiness quotient somewhat, but it makes you
look pretty brave... |
475 | Leather Mask | Hat | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a leather mask,
which is... Actually, I'd rather not describe this item at all. |
332 | Lemon | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a lemon. It's shaped
exactly like a lemon. |
415 | Leotarrrd | Pants | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a leotarrrd from The
Obligatory Pirate's Cove. When you're wearing this, you're not going
anywhere, Gilbert. |
276 | Leprechaun Hatchling | Familiar | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a
just-hatched leprechaun. If you put it in a terrarium, it'll probably
mature very quickly. |
100 | Lifeless Meat Doll | | Inventory - Combine | This is a doll made
of meat. It's not very animated. What manner of magicalness could liven
it up? |
170 | Lihc Eye | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is the eye from a lihc.
It's funny, because you can't remember the lihc actually having eyes
while you were fighting it. |
171 | Lihc Eye Pie | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a pie made from the
eyeball of a lihc. It smells pretty magical. |
670 | Lihc Face | Hat | Multiple, Format Coming | This is the face from a spooky
lihc. Nobody would dare lick your face while you're wearing a lihc face.
|
333 | Lime | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a lime. Like a lemon, it's
shaped like a lemon. Unlike a lemon, it's a lime. |
298 | Lime-and-Chile-Flavored Chewing Gum | Usable | South Of The Border |
You're not even sure this stuff *is* chewing gum. It's got a hard sugar
coating over a wee tiny bit of some mildly squishy substance. You're not
convinced that being chewy and gummy automatically make something chewing
gum. I mean, pencil erasers fall into that category. Except for the sugar
part. |
655 | Line | | The Hole In The Sky | This is a part of a constellation.
Funny. You always thought those lines were imaginary. |
380 | Linoleum Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a linoleum
crossbow. The twang of its string signals doom for all who oppose you. |
368 | Linoleum Crossbow String | | Inventory - Smith | This is a
crossbow string that has been fortified with linoleum. It's as strong and
as flexible as a bodybuilding acrobat. |
391 | Linoleum Helmet Turtle | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is a turtle
whose shell has been plated with linoleum and meat. It's mad tough. |
375 | Linoleum Meat Stack | | Inventory - Smith | This is a dense meat
stack fortified with linoleum. It smells like meat on the floor of the
bathroom. |
363 | Linoleum Ore | | Itznotyerzitz Mine (In Disguise) | This is a good-sized chunk
of linoleum ore, fresh from the living rock. |
379 | Linoleum Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a linoleum staff.
What's long, hard, and smells like linoleum? This. |
367 | Linoleum Stick | | Inventory - Smith | This is a big stick which
has been fortified with linoleum. Solid. |
378 | Linoleum Sword | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a linoleum sword.
It's easy to clean, and with proper care, will last a lifetime. |
366 | Linoleum Sword Hilt | | Inventory - Smith | This is a sword hilt
which has been fortified with linoleum. It's as sturdy and as fragrant as
the kitchen floor. |
635 | Little Paper Umbrella | Weapon | The Tropical Paradise Island Getaway | This is a miniature
replica of a real umbrella, if real umbrellas were made of bamboo and
paper. And broke if you so much as looked at them funny, dammit. |
698 | Loathing Eagle Baby-Doll T-Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
84 | Locked Orcish Meat Locker | | The Haiku Dungeon | This is an
Orcish locker full of meat. Unfortunately, it's locked, so all of the
meaty goodness stays inside. |
433 | Long Skinny Balloon | | The "Fun" House | This is a long,
skinny balloon. By itself, it has very little value. But twisted up with
other balloons... |
187 | Loose Teeth | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a handful of human
teeth. They appear to have gnashed their last. |
569 | Lord Of The Flies-Sized Fries | Food | Campground | These french
fries appear to have been deep-fried in the boiling oil vats of Hell,
itself. They're crispy on the outside, evil on the inside. |
539 | Lowercase N | | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is an N dropped by a
XXX pr0n. I guess that makes him a XXX pr0. |
995 | Lucky Surprise Egg | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a Lucky
Surprise Egg! It's made of chocolate! It's delicious, and has a fun toy
surprise inside! It's exciting! That's why the description has so many
exclamation points in it! |
1040 | Lucky Tam O'Shanter (Retired) | Familiar Equipment | The Mr. Store | This is
some kind of beret with a fuzzy ball on the top of it. Your familiar can
wear it at a jaunty angle. Then you could say ?Jaunty Tam O'Shanter? over
and over again. Try it, it's fun! |
564 | Mad Train Wine | Booze | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a bottle of Mad
Train wine. Cheap wine. Nasty wine. Headache-in-a-bottle wine. |
781 | Mafia Aria (Retired) | Usable | The Icy Peak | This is an aria
about the life. The life of a Penguin Mobster. It looks like it'd be
relatively difficult to sing, due in large part to your lack of penguin
vocal chords. In your throat, I mean -- not, like, in a sack. |
791 | Mafia Bow Tie (Retired) | Accessory | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) | This is a bow tie,
of the style worn by the members of the Penguin Mafia. It's very, very
stylish, and it makes you feel very, very tough. |
838 | Mafia Stogie (Retired) | Accessory | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) | This is a cigar,
enchanted to burn and burn without ever being used up. The smoke creates
an aura of intense Mysticality, and the intimidation factor makes you
seem a lot tougher than you actually are. |
840 | Mafia Violin Case (Retired) | Weapon | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) | This is a
?violin case? of the sort wielded (weld?) by Mob Penguin thugs. It feels
pretty heavy. You could probably use it to beat somebody over the head
until they were unconscious. Even though that'd be unconscionable (marked
by unconscionability.) |
1008 | Magical Ice Cubes | | The Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort | This is a handful of
ice cubes that have been enchanted in such a way as to make them very
difficult to melt. A lot can go down between Thursday and Saturday when
these things get involved. Just ask the boys in your 'hood. |
518 | Magical Mystery Juice | Combat/Usable Item | Gouda's Grimoire And Grocery | This is a potion
that's positively bubbling with Magicalness. Roll up! (your sleeves, and
drink it.) |
16 | Magicalness-In-A-Can | Usable | The Demon Market | This is a can of
aerosol Magicalness. When you spray it on yourself, you become more
Magical. |
862 | Magnifying Glass | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This magnifying glass
was specially designed to gather starlight and focus it through a star
starfish. It could probably also be used to turn ants into ant-b-que, but
I think we're all a little more mature than that. |
845 | MAHI Fez (Jick) | Hat | Jick | This is a fez embroidered
with the Cryptic word ?MAHI.? You'd think that if you put two of them
together, you'd have a tasty fish, but you'd be wrong -- there's only one
of them, and Boozerbear has it, so you won't ever put two of them
together. |
839 | Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir (Retired) | Booze | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) |
This is a bottle of red, red wine, straight from the vineyards of Old
Country. A lot of this stuff made its way into the Kingdom by way of Mob
Penguin immigrants. Pinot Noir goes well with salmon, chicken, and lamb.
Although I heard Pinot Noir and lamb got in a fight, so now Pinot Noir is
back together with chicken. |
999 | Maid Head | | Inventory - Combine | This is the head of a maid. If
the janitorial industry had the same operating standards as the mafia,
you'd find one of these in your bed if you crossed them. |
998 | Maiden Wig | Hat | Degrassi Knoll | Don't wig out, man... this is a
wig designed to make a burly Gnollish man look like a burly Gnollish
maiden. |
734 | Makeshift SCUBA Gear | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a fish
(oxygen) tank, attached by a fish hose to a fishbowl. When you wear this,
you'll be able to breathe clean air no matter where you go, as long as
you consider air that reeks of fish to be clean. |
850 | Many Eyed Glasses | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | These spectacles will
allow your potato to better see your enemy, the better to entangle it.
The downside is your potato will have to live with the cruel nickname
?sixteen-eyes.? |
1038 | Maraschino Moxiosity Potion | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a
potion made of cherry juice. It's an alarmingly artificial-looking shade
of red. |
1013 | Margarita | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a margarita. If a bunch
of these things got together and started up a town, it'd probably be a
good place to avoid if you wanted to actually accomplish anything. |
1159 | Mariachi G-String | Combat Item | South Of The Border | This is the third
string from a Mariachi's guitar. What? It's thin, strong, and pointy on
the ends -- you could probably garotte somebody with it pretty
effectively. Or put it back on a guitar and play a Gavotte for somebody.
|
12 | Mariachi Pants | Pants | The Sewer | This is a pair of pants you
stole from a mariachi. You stole his pants because he didn't have an
accordion. He didn't have an accordion because a different Accordion
Thief had already stolen it from him. |
251 | Martini | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is your basic martini. Gin
and an olive. |
1163 | Marzipan Skull | Usable | South Of The Border | You were afraid this
thing came out of a girl who looks like a broomstick with a wig and a
skirt, but really it's just compressed sugar and almond extract. |
1062 | Mauve Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with a mauve paisley pattern. Mauve and
paisley go together like beans and cornbread. Or perhaps like paisley and
mauve. |
1063 | Mauve Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is a mauve
plastic imitation oyster egg. Accept no imitations, except for this one.
|
1061 | Mauve Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with mauve polka dots. Didn't your
Grandma have a friend named Mauve Polka Dots? No? I could've sworn she
did. |
1060 | Mauve Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with mauve stripes. It's like a
hard-boiled police lieutenant, but police lieutenants aren't usually
covered in mauve stripes. At least not in their public lives. |
268 | Meat Cowboy Hat | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This is a cowboy hat,
made of meat, with a snakeskin hatband. Stylish, pardner. |
849 | Meat Detector | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This item is a lot like a
metal detector, except that it detects meat. It's got special shielding
on it so it doesn't detect the user's own body as meat. Trust me, it
does. A leprechaun would probably find this to be pretty useful. |
126 | Meat Engine | | Inventory - Combine | This is an engine which runs
on meat. It's fueled-up and ready to go (somewhere) or do (something.) |
99 | Meat Face | | Inventory - Combine | This is a face made of meat.
It's cute. |
87 | Meat From Yesterday | | The Haiku Dungeon | This meat is so dry.
It's from yesterday. |
636 | Meat Globe (Once Only) | Usable | The Shore Inc. | This is a cheap
trinket that shows various scenes in the kingdom suffering a freak
meatstorm. |
101 | Meat Golem | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a Meat Golem. It will
more than likely do your bidding. |
1000 | Meat Maid | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a maid that runs on
Meat. If you set her up at your campsite, she'll clean up for you, saving
you lots of time. |
132 | Meat Maid Body | | Inventory - Combine | This is the body of a
meat maid. It's maid to order just for you. Sorry. They maid me do it.
Ha! Maid you look! Anyway, it'll never get ahead in the janitorial arts
if it doesn't get a head. |
25 | Meat Paste | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a sticky paste made out
of meat. It could be used to stick two things together. |
88 | Meat Stack | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a stack of highly
compressed meat. |
546 | Meat Vortex | Combat/Usable Item | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a curious object - a
whirling mass of energy that seems to just suck up Meat. |
871 | Meatcar Model | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a little replica of
a bitchin' meatcar on a string, designed to be hung on a pair of fuzzy
dice. |
112 | Meatloaf Helmet | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This is a helmet made of
meatloaf. Mmmmm. You feel like a Bat out of Hell when you wear it. You
would do anything for this hat (but you won't do that.) |
92 | Meatsmithing Guide | Usable | The Meatsmith | This is a pamphlet
which explains the basic principles of meatsmithing. |
389 | Meaty Helmet Turtle | Hat | Inventory - Smith | This is a helmet
turtle that's been meated up a bit. Bulkier turtle better protection. |
1158 | Meleegra? Pills | Usable | South Of The Border | These tiny blue pills
are supposed to enlarge your weapon and make you be able to attack for
hours on end without tiring. You're not sure how a pill could affect your
weapon, but they seem to work. |
937 | Menorette | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a tiny candelabrum with
eight tiny candles in it. It'll make your dreidl feel more at home, so
it'll work harder. Spin harder? Whatever. |
321 | Menudo | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a soup made out of spicy
intestines. You've seen more disgusting soups than this, but not very
many. |
490 | Mesh Cap | Hat | The Palindome | This hat makes you feel like
you're ready for some football, like you're a good ol' boy (never meanin'
no harm,) and like the South will rise again. In other words, tough but
stupid. |
628 | Metallic A | | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a large letter A,
made out of some sort of shiny metal. |
618 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | Sweet merciful
Jesus, this is the strongest-smelling muscle rub you've ever encountered.
It's like a Spearmint Fairy took a crap on a candy cane, only more
medicinal-smelling. |
65 | Mighty Bjorn Action Figure (Once Only) | | Inventory - Combine |
This is a repaired Mighty Bjorn action figure. The Toot Oriole will be
glad to see this. |
819 | Milky Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a bottle
shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might ask?
You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
836 | Mind Flayer Corpse | Food | The Dungeons Of Doom | This is the corpse of
a mind flayer. Perhaps you could make a mild filet of mind flayer out of
it. Or perhaps not. Perhaps you should just eat it. |
360 | Miner's Helmet | Hat | Itznotyerzitz Mine | This is a helmet taken
from a 7-Foot Dwarf Miner. It's got a nifty light on the front of it. |
361 | Miner's Pants | Pants | Itznotyerzitz Mine | This is a pair of the
special pants worn by 7-Foot Dwarven Miners. Why do you need special
pants to work in a mine? You just do, all right? |
901 | Miniature Espresso Maker | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a
machine that Coffee Pixies use to brew up especially potent coffee. It
produces cups of espresso that are even smaller than regular-sized cups
of espresso. |
1152 | Miniature Gravy-Covered Maypole (Retired) | Familiar Equipment | The Mr. Store | This is a maypole that's covered from tip to bottom in delicious
gravy. From the top stream several ribbons, each of which is also covered
in delicious gravy. A familiar using this thing would probably be able to
find a lot more items than usual after combat. Why does gravy help your
familiar find more items? Exactly. |
779 | Mob Penguin Cellular Phone (Retired) | Combat Item | The Icy Peak | This
is a phone used by the Mob Penguin Sopranos to call in thug penguins to
do their bidding. And much like in a combination auction-house and
kickboxing arena, their bidding is typically extremely violent. |
917 | Mob Penguin Protection Contract (Retired) | | Uncle P's Antiques (Retired) | This is a document that entitles its owner to a measure of protection
from the Penguin Mafia. If -- and we're not saying this is going to be
possible -- but if at some point in the near future the Penguin Mafia
decides to start doing ?favors? for your fellow citizens of Loathing,
having one of these documents in your inventory will protect you against
one of those favors. So... Got any enemies? |
597 | Mohawk Wig | Hat | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is an intimidating hairdo
that you can wear over your normal hairdo. Although you'll probably be a
lot less intimidating than you would be if you didn't keep using the word
?hairdo.? |
1011 | Monkey Wrench | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of rum
and grapefruit juice. Just the thing you need to loosen your nuts and fix
your pipes. |
857 | Moonglasses | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | These shades are not just
stylish, but functional; they could probably help a grue overcome its
fear of bright light. As long as you don't masquerade on the grue in
shades, oh no. |
275 | Mosquito Larva | Familiar | The Spooky Forest | This is the larva of a
mosquito. It's very tiny, but with some tender loving care (and perhaps a
terrarium,) it could develop into a full-fledged mosquito.) |
357 | Mountain Stream Soda | Combat/Usable Item | The eXtreme Slope | This is a can of
Mountain Stream soda. It's pretty fizzy, and it's pretty eXtreme. |
519 | Moxie Magnet | Accessory | The Shadowy Store | This is a tiny enchanted
magnet that you can pin to your shirt. When you've got it equipped, your
Mojo Points will be calculated based on your Moxie, instead of your
Magicalness. |
14 | Moxie Weed | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a small weed, which
when eaten, makes you more Moxious. |
194 | Mr. Accessory | Accessory | The Mr. Store | This is an accessory. A
pretty nice one, too. This item is bestowed upon those groovy individuals
who see fit to contribute $10 or more to the maintenance and development
of the Kingdom of Loathing. |
896 | Mr. Accessory Jr. | Accessory | The Mr. Store | This is an item that
appears to be the offspring of a Mr. Accessory and a Mrs. Accessory. He's
not quite as strong as his parents, but he certainly likes acquiring new
toys! |
482 | Mr. Container (Unimplemented) | Container | Unimplemented | This is the
very first container-type item found in the Kingdom of Loathing. How
lucky you are to have this! |
782 | Mr. Exploiter (Retired) | Accessory | Uncle P's Antiques (Retired) | This is a badge of
?honor? purchased by somebody who was ?wealthy.? |
907 | Mr. Mediocrebar | Usable | Halloween | This candy bar, y'know,
it's okay. Like, it's never going to win a gold medal in the olympics, or
anything. I mean, it's even less likely to do so than other candy bars. |
685 | Mr. Shirt (Jick) | Shirt | Jick | It's Mr. Shirt! Hooray,
Mr. Shirt! |
895 | Ms. Accessory | Accessory | The Mr. Store | This is an accessory that's
just as powerful as a Mr. Accessory, but much, much prettier. |
267 | Mullet Wig | Hat | Whitey's Grove | This is a wig of hair that's
long in the back and short on top. Looking at this gets a Bon Jovi song
stuck in your head |
827 | Murky Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a bottle
shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might ask?
You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
326 | Mushroom Pizza | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a pizza with
mushrooms on it. |
785 | Mystery Raffle Ticket #1-#5 (Retired) | | Uncle P's Antiques (Retired) |
This is a ticket for the Penguin Mafia's ?Mystery Raffle? fund-raiser.
Nobody knows what the prizes are -- that's why it's a mystery! |
1047 | N.O. Beer (Jick) | Booze | Jick | This is a glass of
fluorescent green beer from the radioactive microbrewery in the basement
of the Noblesse Oblige clan hall. It smells like a dangerous combination
of power and generosity. |
695 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
802 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
803 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
868 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
880 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
881 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
882 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
883 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
884 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
885 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
886 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
887 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
888 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
889 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
890 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
893 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
930 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
959 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
960 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
996 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
997 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1001 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1032 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1033 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1037 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1039 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1085 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1086 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1087 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1088 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1089 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1090 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1091 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1092 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1093 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1094 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1095 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1096 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1097 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1098 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1099 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1100 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1101 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1102 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1103 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1104 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1105 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1106 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1107 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1108 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1109 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1110 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1111 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1112 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1113 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1116 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1118 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1119 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1120 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1121 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1122 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1123 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1124 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1125 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1126 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1127 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1128 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1129 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1130 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1132 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1133 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1134 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1135 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1136 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1137 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1138 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1139 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1140 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1141 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1142 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1143 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1144 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1145 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1146 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1147 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1150 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1153 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1154 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1155 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1156 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1157 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1167 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1168 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1169 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1170 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1171 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1172 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1173 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1174 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1175 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1176 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1177 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1178 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1179 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1180 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1181 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1182 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1183 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1184 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1185 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1186 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1187 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1188 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1189 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1190 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1191 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1192 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1193 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1194 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1195 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1196 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1197 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1198 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1199 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
1200 | N/A | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
627 | ND | | Inventory - Combine | This is an N followed by a D. And
that's all I have to say about that. |
219 | Necklace Chain | | The Hippy Camp | This is a chain of fine
metal, out of which a necklace could be made. Of course, making handmade
jewelry makes you seem like a hippy. |
483 | Newbiesport Backpack (Unimplemented) | Container | Unimplemented | This
backpack is perfect for beginning adventurers, in that it allows them to
carry stuff that they wouldn't otherwise be able to carry. |
69 | Newbiesport? Tent | Usable | The Demon Market | This is a basic tent. If
you put it up at your campsite, you'll be slightly less vulnerable to
attacks from other players. |
624 | NG | Combat Item | Inventory - Combine | This is a basic tent. If you put it up
at your campsite, you'll be slightly less vulnerable to attacks from
other players. |
352 | Ninja Hot Pants | Pants | Multiple, Format Coming | This is an N followed by
a G. You're not exactly sure how to pronounce it. |
428 | Nothing-In-The-Box | | Inventory - Combine | You've seen some hot
pants in your lifetime, but none as hot as these. |
446 | Nothing-In-The-Box-In-The-Box | | Inventory - Combine | This is a
something-in-the-box without the something. |
798 | Ocean Motion | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a nothing-in-the-box
on a spring, in a box. That's complicated enough that it doesn't require
any more of a description. |
1074 | Off-White Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with an off-white paisley pattern.
Elaborate pattern + very low contrast plain old white egg, effectively.
|
1075 | Off-White Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is an
off-white plastic imitation oyster egg. Or maybe it's ivory, or
off-off-white. Or maybe eggshell. Wouldn't that be ironic. |
1073 | Off-White Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with off-white polka dots. It's very hard
to tell where the polka dots stop and the background begins. And that
isn't funny. At all. |
1072 | Off-White Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with off-white stripes. You've said it
once before, but it bears off-repeating now. |
904 | Old School Mafia Knickerbockers (Retired) | Pants | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) |
This is a drink made of rum, strawberries, a tiny umbrella, and a name
designed to make you blush. |
1020 | Old-Fashioned | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink known, for
some reason, as an old-fashioned. I guess in the old days they took their
whiskey with cherries in it. That must be what the XX on the side of
those bottles meant. Xherry Xherry. |
245 | Olive | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a big, plump, juicy green
olive. Few things are as similar to a big, plump, juicy green olive as
this is. |
807 | Olive Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a somewhat bizarre
stir-fry of seasoned olives. It smells... like olives, unsurprisingly.
Mountains of olives. |
725 | One Million Meat Pancakes (Jick) | | Jick | This is
a million Meat, made into a pancake. Or maybe a pancake made of a million
Meat. Either way: Oh yeah. |
522 | One-Winged Stab Bat | | Inventory - Combine | This is a partially
rewinged dewinged stab bat. Have you heard my new band, the Partially
Rewinged Dewinged Stab Bats? |
242 | Orange | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is an orange. It's orange. |
419 | Orangish Aphrodisiac | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a powerful
aphrodisiac made from the juice of an orange. It's orang-o-tangy, and
expeditious. |
239 | Orcish Baseball Cap | Hat | The Orcish Frat House | This is a baseball
cap formerly worn by an Orcish Frat Boy. Even having this in your
inventory makes you feel like a jerk. |
240 | Orcish Cargo Shorts | Pants | The Orcish Frat House | This is a pair of
cargo shorts formerly worn by an Orcish Frat Boy. It's got lots of
pockets, perfect for storing your cheat sheets and Rohypnol. |
612 | Original G | | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This is one of the first Gs
printed by the Alphabet Giants in the Sky. Back in the day. |
62 | Oriole-Feather Headdress (Once Only) | Hat | The Toot Oriole | This
is a headdress made from the feathers of the Toot Oriole. |
954 | Orphan Baby Yeti (Retired) | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This cute
little guy looks to have been separated from his big, furry parents. Poor
kid -- he's shivering and looking at you with his big, yet somehow beady,
eyes. |
1080 | Oyster Basket (Retired) | Accessory | The Demon Market | This is a basket
used for hunting the eggs hidden all over the Kingdom by the Enchanted
Flying Oyster. If you don't have one of these equipped, you won't be able
to find any oyster eggs. If you find some, go ahead and put all of them
in this one basket, though. |
502 | Pagoda Plans | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a set of plans for
building a big pagoda. |
294 | Pail (Retired) | Hat | The Daily Dungeon | This is an ordinary metal
pail. |
575 | Painful Penne Pasta | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a bowl of
pasta so spicy that smelling it puts hair on your nose's chest. On a
related note, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, and
you can cut your chest hair, but you can't pick your friend's nose or cut
your friend's nose's chest hair. |
858 | Palm-Frond Toupee | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | Though this toupee
won't show the way when summer brings you down, it will allow your
volleyball to shower, swim, and play tennis, all with its new hair! Or at
least up its confidence so it works a little harder. |
91 | Pants Kit | | The Meatsmith | With the pants kit (cuffs and a
belt) you can make snazzy pants. |
599 | Pants Of The Slug Lord (Once Only) | Pants | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This
is a pair of pants made of what appears to be slug skin. They're durable
and weather resistant, and they leave a shiny trail behind you everywhere
you go. |
498 | Papaya | Food | The Palindome | This is a papaya -- it's as tasty
to eat as it is fun to say! |
524 | Papaya Sling | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a cocktail made from
a slung papaya. |
844 | Papaya Slung | Booze | Blown Up Bartender | This is a cocktail that looks
like it was made from a smashed papaya that somebody picked up off the
ground. It smells vaguely of alcohol, and strongly of dirt. |
558 | Papaya Taco | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is pretty much what
you'd expect -- a taco shell with a papaya in it. It looks tasty enough
for even the Pope to enjoy it! |
926 | Papotion Of Papower | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a potion made
of the distilled essence of papaya. It smells Mystical |
68 | Pasta Of Peril | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a contraption which
could best be described as ?a gravel-filled spaghetti catapult.? It's as
dangerous as it is implausible. |
5 | Pasta Spoon | Weapon | The Sewer | This is a pasta spoon, weapon
of choice of the Pastamancers. |
208 | Patchouli Incense Stick | Usable | The Hippy Camp | This is a stick
of foul-smelling patchouli incense. |
396 | Penguin Shorts | Pants | Inventory - Smith | These are shorts made of
penguin skin. There wasn't enough skin to make long pants. These allow
you to slide around pretty quickly on your ass. |
393 | Penguin Skin | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is the skin from a
penguin, which has had all of the feathers removed. This would probably
make a nice pair of tuxedo pants. |
1035 | Penguin Skin Buckler | Accessory | Inventory - Smith | This is a buckler
made of penguin skin. Tuxedos do not have buckles. Discuss. |
1030 | Penguin Whip | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is a whip made of
penguin skin instead of leather. It has some very persuasive barbs on the
tip. |
953 | Penguin-Smacking Club | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is two slices
of bread around some bacon, penguin-smacking, and lettuce. It has an
olive on a toothpick stuck through it. Nah. It's actually a big icicle
that Yetis use to smack penguins to see how far they'll fly. |
604 | Penultimate Fantasy Chest | Usable | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a chest
you found on The Penultimate Fantasy Airship. It probably contains
goodies. |
1016 | Perpendicular Hula | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a daiquiri
that has been frozen even more thoroughly than it was before. It's sort
of like a rumsicle. |
1083 | Personal Raindrop (Retired) | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This is your
own personal raindrop. Something to fall in your hair, something that
cares. |
222 | Phat Turquoise Bead | | The Hippy Camp | You know what your
wrist needs? A big phat turquoise bracelet. |
223 | Phat Turquoise Bracelet | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This is a phat
bead, man. Like, groovy. |
593 | Phonics Down | Usable | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a handful of soft
feathers from the legendary Phonics. With the advent of instant
messaging, the great bird is said to have spontaneously combusted. Legend
tells that the Phonics will one day be reborn, and that the rivers will
run red with the blood of those who cannot spell. |
630 | Photoprotoneutron Torpedo | Combat Item | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is one of
the magical and technological weapons used by the MagiMechTech
MechaMechs. It looks awfully dangerous. And dangerously awful. |
280 | Pick-O-Matic Lockpicks | | The Daily Dungeon | This is a set of
lockpicks. You can pick your locks, and you can pick your friends, and
with these, you'll be able to pick your friends' locks. |
299 | Pickle-Flavored Chewing Gum | Usable | South Of The Border | You're not
even sure this stuff *is* chewing gum. It's got a hard sugar coating over
a wee tiny bit of some mildly squishy substance. You're not convinced
that being chewy and gummy automatically make something chewing gum. I
mean, pencil erasers fall into that category. Except for the sugar part.
|
160 | Pie Crust | | Inventory - Cook | This is a pie crust. If you
put something tasty in it and cook it, it will more than likely become a
pie. |
262 | Piece Of Wedding Cake | Food | Whitey's Grove | Here comes the
bride -- down your gullet! |
206 | Piercing Post | | The Hippy Camp | This is a post for making
handmade jewelry. |
1161 | Pile Of Candy | Usable | South Of The Border | This is a pile of assorted
candies. You're guessing it contains somewhere between 3 and 5 individual
pieces of candy, and that those pieces of candy will be selected, at
random from a list of possibilities when you sort the pile out. |
97 | Pimpin' Meat Hat | Hat | Inventory - Combine | This hat be stylin'.
Nobody best be steppin' to you while you're wearing it. Yeeah. |
867 | Pine Tar | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | This is pine tar from a
lumberjack axe-handle. Tarnation, this stuff is sticky. |
556 | Pine-Fresh Air Freshener | Accessory | The Bat Hole Entryway | This is an air
freshener shaped like a little tree. You could probably wear it around
your neck. |
684 | Pink Pony | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of vodka,
cranberry juice, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you blush.
|
406 | Pirate Pelvis | | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is the pelvis of a
pirate. Alas, it no longer posesses any booty. Arrr. |
699 | Pirate Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
407 | Pirate Skull | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a pirate skull.
Actually, it's just a skull with an eyepatch on it, and a brain inside.
And a pirate's ghost inside it. So I guess it really is a pirate skull,
from a certain point of view. From a certain point of view? |
688 | Pixel Hat | Hat | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is a stylish hat made out
of pixels. This hat would make you look like some sort of low-resolution
Robin Hood. Or maybe a poorly digitized Robin Williams. |
689 | Pixel Pants | Pants | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is a pair of stylish
pants made out of pixels. They look durable, like they were made for a
plumber, or somebody else who spends a lot of time on their knees. |
690 | Pixel Sword | Weapon | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | Master using it and you can
have this. Wait, what? First of all, how could you master using it unless
you had it? Second of all, you already have it, so it's kind of moot. |
912 | Pixellated Candy Heart | Usable | Halloween | This is a
heart-shaped piece of candy that appears to have been crafted from red
pixels. |
323 | Plain Pizza | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a pizza with nothing
on it -- not even cheese. |
608 | Plastic Wrap Immateria (Once Only) | | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This
is a small sphere of the purified essense of plastic wrap. It's very
transparent. |
613 | Plot Hole | Combat Item | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This thing... it just doesn't
add up. |
818 | Plus Sign (Once Only) | Usable | The Enormous Greater-Than Sign | This is a plus
sign. It's about a foot tall, and about a foot wide. It's sort of heavy.
|
753 | Pointy Mushroom | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
707 | Pork Elf Goodies Sack | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
706 | Porquoise | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
721 | Porquoise Bracelet | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
719 | Porquoise Eyebrow Ring | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
720 | Porquoise Necklace | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
722 | Porquoise Ring | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
288 | Potato Sprout | Familiar | The Daily Dungeon | This is a potato sprout.
It's wriggling around a lot. |
793 | Potion Of Chalky Equality | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This is a
potion made up of the concentrated essence of cranberries, and the
extreme chalkiness is sure to have wondrous effects on your stats. Or at
least interesting effects, such as making your Mysticality and your Moxie
equal to your Muscle. |
426 | Potion Of Temporary Gr8ness | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This potion
will make you feel gr8 for a while. If you and some other people drank
this, and then a cartoon tiger saw you, he'd probably say something along
the lines of ?They're gr8!? Then you could beat him up and steal his
jaunty bandana. |
1164 | Poultrygeist | | South Of The Border | This is the spirit of a
fighting rooster which fought one fight too many. It hovers above the
ground and makes spooooky clucking noises. Y'know, as spooky as clucking
noises can be. |
800 | Poutine | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | This is an unpronouncable, yet
palatable, blend of cheese curd and gravy. Mmm, curd. |
817 | Pr0n Chow Mein | Food | Inventory - Cook | This tasty dish has all
the eastern mystique of chow-mein and all the questionable hygiene of the
Knob Goblins and their filthy sausages. |
554 | Pr0n Cocktail | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a bowl full of pr0n
parts in a zesty sauce. Expensive! |
537 | Pr0n Legs | | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | These are the legs of a pr0n.
They look seductively delicious, but they need a little somethin'
somethin'. |
577 | Pr0n M4nic0tti | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a pasta dish made
with pr0n legs. It glistens with 1337ness. |
812 | Pr0n Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a stir-fry of pr0n
and olives. It looks very salty. Yarrr. |
561 | Pregnant Mushroom | Familiar | Inventory - Cook | This is a mushroom that
has been fertilized with some fairy gravy. It's a fecund fungus. A
tumescent toadstool. |
647 | Present | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a box wrapped in wrapping
paper. What could be inside? |
451 | Pretentious Paint (Once Only) | | The Haunted Pantry | This is a
palette covered with several colors of pretentious paint. There's
Overblown Orange, Ironic Indigo, Sarcastic Scarlet. Every color of the
hipster rainbow. |
450 | Pretentious Paintbrush (Once Only) | | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | This
paintbrush appears to have been used to create a large number of
pretentious paintings. You know -- ones with deep inner meaning and
symbolism and stuff. |
78 | Pretty Bouquet | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a bouquet of pretty
flowers from The Campground. |
39 | Pretty Flower | Usable | PvP | This is a beautiful flower.
|
614 | Probability Potion | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | You probably ought to
drink this, but then... maybe you shouldn't. But you probably should. |
610 | Procrastination Potion | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | This is a vial of
a lazily bubbling substance, the color of tomorrow. Or, y'know, the day
after. |
851 | Prosthetic Forehead | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a prosthetic
forehead for your goat to wear on its real head. Everybody wants one of
these and now you've got one. It'll enable your goat to hit harder
without damaging its skull. |
1058 | Puce Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with a puce paisley pattern. Say it with
me: ?puce paisley pattern? Isn't alliteration fun? And easier to spell
than onomatopoeia? |
1059 | Puce Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is a puce
plastic imitation oyster egg. Apparently there's been some advance in
plastic making technology that you were unaware of, because as far as you
can remember, this is the first time you've ever seen puce plastic. |
1057 | Puce Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with puce polka dots. It looks sort of
like a disease. Or like an egg that has a disease. Some sort of egg
disease. Maybe egg-czema? |
1056 | Puce Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, covered in puce stripes. One day you woke up
covered in puce stripes. Man, that was a bad day. |
467 | Purple Pixel Pie | Food | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is a pie, made of
delicious purple Pixels. Smells delicious. |
652 | Quantum Egg (Once Only) | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is an egg
laid by a quantum duck. Its position and velocity are uncertain. This
would make a good power source for some sort of airborne vehicle. |
921 | Radio Button Candy | Food | The KoL Radio | This is a roll of
paper with tiny little buttons of candy stuck to it. You can only select
one piece of candy at a time. These candies were a gift, or possibly a
prize, from the fine folks at Radio KoL. |
918 | Radio Free Baseball Cap | Hat | The KoL Radio | Unlike the Orcish
Frat Boy caps, this stylish headgear is completely free of the stench of
repressed homosexuality. It was also a free gift, or possibly a prize,
given to a loyal Radio KoL listener. |
920 | Radio Free Foil | Weapon | The KoL Radio | This is a shiny metal
foil. It's good for swordfighting and for keeping leftovers fresh. If you
smack somebody with it and they say ?Curses, foiled again!?, feel free to
beat them to a pulp. |
919 | Radio Free Pants | Pants | The KoL Radio | These pants are
completely free of all radio. And they were given to a loyal Radio KoL
listener for free as well. They're nice and roomy, and stylish as all get
out. Or at least nine tenths of a get out. |
1084 | Rainbow Tie | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This tie has all the colors
of the rainbow in it - black, white, ebony, ivory, obsidian, milk, and
onyx. It'll make your personal raincloud rain even more on you, even if
you didn't lie when you were seventeen. |
198 | Rat Appendix | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is the appendix from a
rat. It's squishy. |
815 | Rat Appendix Chow Mein | Food | Inventory - Cook | You never would
have guessed rat guts and Asian cuisine would go so well together. I
mean, unless you've eaten at some of the Chinese take-out places I've
eaten at. Or the places at which I've eaten, if the Grammar Police are
watching. |
810 | Rat Appendix Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a
delicious-smelling stir-fry of rat appendixes and vegetables. Or of rat
appendices and vegetabli, whichever you prefer. |
200 | Rat Appendix-Kabob | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a skewer with
several chunks of roasted rat appendix on it. Smells delicious. |
197 | Rat Whisker | | The Typical Tavern | This is the whisker from one
of the rats who lives beneath The Typical Tavern. |
562 | Ratgut | | The Batrat and Ratbat Burrow | This is a gut from a rat. Or
something other than a rat, but something that had rat guts. Either
internally, or maybe just carrying them in a bucket or something. |
576 | Ravioli Della Hippy | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a dish made
with noodles and tofu. Since tofu takes on the flavor of whatever you
cook it with, in this case it tastes like... plain pasta. Yum, I guess.
|
6 | Ravioli Hat | Hat | The Sewer | This is a hat fashioned from an
oversized ravioli. |
559 | Razor-Sharp Can Lid | Combat Item | The Haunted Pantry | This is the lid from a
tin can. It's really sharp around the edges. You could probably throw
this at something and hurt it fairly badly |
29 | Really Really Sticky Spider Web | | Inventory - Combine | This is
like a really sticky spider web, only even stickier. Still smells like
spiders, though. |
28 | Really Sticky Spider Web | | Inventory - Combine | This is like a
spider web, only even stickier. |
1050 | Red Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with a red paisley pattern. The pattern is
at once soothing and infuriating. |
461 | Red Pixel | | The 8-Bit Realm | This strange object appears to
be a red dot, which could not, no matter how hard you tried, be separated
into any smaller pieces. Mysterious. |
464 | Red Pixel Potion | Combat/Usable Item | The Crackpot Mystic's Shed | This is a digitized
potion. It's red. That probably means it'll restore HP. |
1051 | Red Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is a red
plastic imitation oyster egg. Did you ever notice how there really just
aren't that many jokes you can make about things being made of plastic? |
1049 | Red Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with red polka dots. Just like a
Communist accordion player with the measles |
1048 | Red Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with red stripes. Hooray, egg! Boo, tea.
|
523 | Rewinged Stab Bat | Familiar | Inventory - Combine | This is a fully
rewinged dewinged stab bat. Have you heard my new band, The Joke That Got
Repeated Until It Wasn't Funny Anymore? |
665 | Richard's Star Key | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a key made of
stars and lines. It pulses in a complex, syncopated rhythm. |
586 | Ridiculously Huge Sword | Weapon | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This sword is the
size of a cricket bat and looks about as sharp as your thumb, but somehow
it does a whole lot of damage. |
835 | Ring Of Aggravate Monster | Accessory | The Dungeons Of Doom | This is a ring
that makes monsters angry at you. Er, I suppose ?angrier? would be a
better word, since monsters are already pretty angry at you. |
286 | Ring Of Half-Assed Regeneration | Accessory | The Daily Dungeon | When
you're wearing this ring, you'll slowly heal over time. Sort of. |
708 | Ring Setting | | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | This is a ring that makes
monsters angry at you. Er, I suppose ?angrier? would be a better word,
since monsters are already pretty angry at you. |
50 | Rock and Roll Legend | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This accordion rocks.
Enough said. |
906 | Rock Pops | Usable | Halloween | This ?candy? looks to be a
handful of gravel, infused with gaseous vapors and coated in sugar.
Guaranteed to be as good for your teeth as it is your digestive tract. |
797 | Rockin' Wagon | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of rum,
cola, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you blush. |
679 | Roll In The Hay | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of
whiskey, cola, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you blush. |
400 | Roll Of Drink Tickets | Usable | The Orcish Frat House (In Disguise) | This is a roll of
tickets, each of which is good for one free drink at The Orcish Frat
House. |
873 | Rolling Pin | Usable | The Bugbear Bakery | This is a rolling pin. This
thing looks like it'd be perfect for turning mass quantities of dough
into mass quantities of flat dough. |
830 | Royal Jelly | Food | The Dungeons Of Doom | This is a lump of royal
jelly. It's like grape jelly, only instead of purple, it's royal blue. |
292 | Rubber Axe | Weapon | The Daily Dungeon | This is an axe made of rubber.
It's surprisingly heavy. You could use it to cleave someone's skull, or
to axe someone something. |
468 | Ruby W | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a giant ruby in the shape
of the letter W. That's... weird... |
789 | Rum and Cola | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a refreshing cocktail
made out of rum and cola (big surprise, eh?) Some people call this a Cuba
Libre, but then the bartender says ?a what?? and they're forced to look
at their feet and say ?a rum and cola.? Then the bartender laughs at
them, and probably sleeps with their girlfriend. |
82 | Rusty L-Shaped Piece Of Metal | | The Haiku Dungeon | This is a
rusty piece of metal, shaped like an L. The name of the item pretty much
entirely describes it. |
454 | Rusty Screwdriver (Once Only) | | Degrassi Knoll | This is a
rusty old screwdriver. Perhaps it once belonged to somebody named Rusty.
Or perhaps not. The Untinker would probably be pretty pleased if you took
this back to him. |
609 | S.O.C.K (Once Only) | | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is the
Sub-Orbital Conveyance of the Kingdom, which is a fancy-schmancy way of
saying it's a small boat for traveling in the lower atmosphere. Which is
a fancy way of saying it... moves... through... sky. |
334 | Sabre Teeth | Weapon | The Goatlet | These are a couple of sabre
teeth. They're big, nasty, and pointy. |
335 | Sabre-Toothed Lime Cub | Familiar | Inventory - Combine | This is a baby
sabre-toothed lime. |
416 | Safarrri Hat | Hat | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a hat which certain
pirates wear when they go on safari. They also wear them back at the
gentlemens' club when they go on and on about what happened to them on
their safari. |
248 | Salty Dog | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a delicious glass of gin
and juice, with salt around the rim. |
843 | Salty Slug | Booze | Blown Up Bartender | This is a glass of gin, juice,
and some shiny goo, on the origin of which you'd rather not speculate.
Please give that sentence some respect -- it had to work very hard not to
end with a preposition. Also the second one, for not splitting its
infinitive. |
1022 | Sangria | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is sangria. It's like blood,
except instead of plasma it has wine, and instead of blood cells it has
bits of cherry. But other than that, it's exactly like blood. |
1025 | Sangria Del Diablo | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a delicious
cocktail made of sangria, with a little extra kick. When you drink this,
you might not be runnin' with the devil, but at least you'll be drinkin'
with him. |
580 | Sauce Of The Ages | | Inventory - Cook | Daddy would you like
some Sauceoftheages? Daddy would you like some Sauce of the Ages? |
7 | Saucepan | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a saucepan, which can be
used to beat something about the head and neck. Unless that something
doesn't have a head and/or a neck, in which case it could be used to beat
it about whatever passes for a head and neck in its particular case. |
324 | Sausage Pizza | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a pizza with big
chunks of sausage on it. Mmmmm. |
250 | Screwdriver | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is your basic
screwdriver. If you'd made it with Milk of Magnesia instead of orange
juice, it'd be a Phillips Screwdriver. |
595 | Scroll Of Drastic Healing | Usable | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This scroll
contains the incantations necessary to heal you right up to your maximum
HP. It's printed on really nice paper, too. |
780 | Scroll Of Pasta Summoning (Retired) | Usable | The Icy Peak | This
is a scroll used by the Penguin Mafia Pasta Chefs when they need to whip
up some delicious pasta in a big hurry. Or some big pasta in a delicious
hurry. More often the former than the latter. |
4 | Scroll Of Turtle Summoning | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a scroll which, when read, summons turtles to do the bidding of the reader. |
346 | Scrumptious Reagent | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a substance
with mystical properties which allow it to combine with many food items
to make a variety of sauces and salves. It can only be used by powerful
Saucerors. |
2 | Seal Tooth | Usable | The Sewer | This is the tooth from a baby seal. It's like a smaller version of the tooth from an adult seal. |
1 | Seal-Clubbing Club | Weapon | The Sewer | This is a club used to club seals. You could probably club other things with it, too. |
31 | Seal-Toothed Rock | | Inventory - Combine | This is a big rock with
a seal's tooth fastened to it. |
205 | Secret Blend Of Herbs and Spices | | The Hippy Camp (In Disguise) | This is
a secret blend of herbs and spices. It's the kind of thing that's
probably been in somebody's family for generations. |
911 | Senior Mints | Usable | Halloween | Let me tell ya, young'un,
back in my day these were the only candies we could get. None of your
fancy Sugar Bombs, or the Holy Crap, This is Sours -- this was all we
had. And we liked it! |
745 | Serrated Proboscis Extension | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
922 | Severed Rocking Horse Head (Retired) | Accessory | Uncle P's Antiques - Back Room (Retired) | This
is a wooden horse head that seems to have been brutally severed from a
wooden rocking horse. What kind of sicko would do this to a defenseless
inanimate object? And why would they send it to you? And why would they
bother gluing a safety pin to it so you could wear it on your lapel? |
866 | Shaving Creme | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | This is a can of shaving
cream once used by lumberjacks. It has a variety of uses. Well, at least
two. Or maybe just one. |
199 | Shiny Ring (Once Only) | Accessory | The Typical Tavern | This is a ring
which is both shiny and magical. |
856 | Shock Collar | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | What y'all wanna do? Wanna
be ballers, shock collars, brawlers? I didn't think so. But this collar
ought to make your stab-bat a little better behaved. Er, more well
behaved. Weller behaved? |
1148 | Shot Of Flower Schnapps | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a shot of
schnapps made from flowers. It's sort of like wine made from dandelions,
only it won't bore you to death. |
254 | Shot Of Grapefruit Schnapps | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a shot
of fermented grapefruit juice. It's not just for breakfast anymore! |
253 | Shot Of Orange Schnapps | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a shot of
fermented orange juice. You could probably drink 50 of these. No, wait,
no you couldn't. |
256 | Shot Of Tomato Schnapps | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a shot of
fermented tomato juice. You can think of nastier things than this, but
you can't think of many. |
742 | Shroomkabob | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a Knoll mushroom
cooked on a skewer. It smells much better than an uncooked Knoll
mushroom, though that isn't saying much. Y'know, for a sentence that
wasn't saying much, that sentence certainly had the word ?much? in it a
bunch of times. Or twice. |
961 | Silk Garter Snake (Retired) | Familiar | The Mr. Store | This is an
adorable pink silk garter snake. If only there was a naive naked couple
around to whom it could offer a pink silk apple. |
410 | Sk8board | Accessory | The eXtreme Slope | This is a rad sk8board. You could
kick ass much faster on this. |
163 | Skeleton Bone | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a bone from a
skeleton. As opposed to all of those other kinds of bones. |
642 | Skeleton Key | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a generic key made
of skeleton parts. It looks like just the thing for dungeon doors. |
643 | Skeleton Key Ring | Usable | The Daily Dungeon | This is a ring full of
skeleton keys. |
165 | Skewer | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a simple wooden skewer.
You could probably cook stuff on it. |
863 | Skewer Mounted Razor Blade | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a
razor blade designed specifically for attachment to the skewer of a ghost
pickle on a stick. While wearing this, the pickle's eye-poking power
takes on a much more... wince-inducing quality. Skull Of The Bonerdagon:
|
503 | Skewered Cat Appendix | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a delicious
cat appendix cooked on a skewer. A delicious skewer. Actually, I was just
kidding. The skewer isn't delicious. |
947 | Skewered Cherry | | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a big fat cherry
with a sword stuck through it. |
945 | Skewered Jumbo Olive | | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a jumbo
olive that has been sworded. |
946 | Skewered Lime | | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a lime with a
sword through it. Or a sword through a lime, depending on which part of
it you want to focus on. |
675 | Skull Of The Bonerdagon (Once Only) | | The Haert Of The Cyrpt | This
is the skull that was once attached to the neck of the bonerdagon. The
Council would probably be interested in seeing this. |
680 | Slap and Tickle | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of
gin, grapefruit juice, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you
blush. |
59 | Slingshot | Ranged Weapon | The Demon Market | This is a fairly straightforward
slingshot. You can use it to shoot rocks at things, or presumably to
shoot things at rocks, provided that the things are relatively small. |
681 | Slip 'N' Slide | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made of
vodka, orange juice, a tiny umbrella, and a name designed to make you
blush. |
831 | Small Box | Usable | The Dungeons Of Doom | This is a small box. It more
than likely contains a some things. Not too many things, though, because
as you remember, this box is pretty small. |
939 | Small Crimbo Pressie (Retired) | Usable | Crimbo 2004 | This is a
small box with a bow on it. What could be inside? 'Tis the season to find
out. |
164 | Smart Skull | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a skull with glasses.
It would probably be pretty smart, if only it wasn't empty. |
900 | Smile Sharpening Stone | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a small
whetstone used by Cheshire Bats to sharpen their smiles, and to whet
their appetites. |
822 | Smoky Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a bottle
shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might ask?
You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
485 | Snakehead Charrrm | | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This charrrm looks
like the head of a snake, which is why it's called a Snakehead Charrrm. I
mean, it wouldn't make any sense to call it a Moosehead Charrrm, now,
would it? |
290 | Sneaky Pete's Breath Spray | Accessory | The Daily Dungeon | This is a can
of breath spray once carried by Sneaky Pete, the most Moxious of the
Thieves of the Times of Old. Some of his Moxie must've rubbed off on it.
|
284 | Sneaky Pete's Key | | The Daily Dungeon | This is the key to the
Shrine of Sneaky Pete, in the Big Mountains. |
512 | Sneaky Pete's Key Lime | | Inventory - Cook | This is a lime,
with Sneaky Pete's Key baked into it. |
515 | Sneaky Pete's Key Lime Pie | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a key
lime pie with the essence of Sneaky Pete baked into it. It oozes with
flavor and Moxie. |
33 | Snorkel | Hat | The Demon Market | This is a snorkel. For the
purposes of this game, you can use it to breathe underwater. |
356 | Snowboarder Pants | Pants | The eXtreme Slope | This is a pair of pants
which has somehow learned how to snowboard. |
453 | Sober Pill (Retired) | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a pill which
will render you sober. So you can start drinking again. Lush. |
1003 | Soda Water | Usable | The Demon Market | This is a single-serving
bottle of soda water. It's like a single serving of water with a single
serving of carbon dioxide infused into it. |
588 | Soft Green Echo Eyedrop Antidote | Usable | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is
a vial filled with a remarkably versatile liquid. It will fix just about
anything that could be wrong with you. |
697 | Soggy Wofl T-Shirt | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
563 | Sonar-In-A-Biscuit | Combat/Usable Item | The Guano Junction | This is one of those
flavored crackers, but it appears to be flavored with piercing waves of
high-pitched sound. It's incredible, and inedible. |
67 | Spaghetti With Rock Balls | | Inventory - Combine | This is some
spaghetti, into which has been crumbled a huge rock.It doesn't look
appetizing, but it looks dangerous. |
584 | Spaghetti With Skullheads | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a bowl
of spaghetti swimming with smallish skull-shaped sausage chunks. It looks
as good as it smells, and, inexplicably, looks as well as it smells, too.
|
545 | Spam Witch Sammich | Food | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | This is a sandwich
made by a Spam Witch. You know why Spam Witches can't starve if they're
at the beach? Because they can always eat the sand which is there. |
903 | Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne (Retired) | Booze | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) | This is a bottle of fine Champagne, straight from the carbonated
vineyards of the Old Country. This would be a perfect thing to have at
brunch, if you were the kind of person who had brunch. Here's hoping
you're not, though, and that you'll just lay in an alley somewhere and
swill it straight out of the bottle. |
531 | Special Sauce Glove | Accessory | Gouda's Grimoire And Grocery | This is a glove which
has been imbued with Special Sauce. It could be used to protect you from
the damaging effects of cold beverages, but it'd be better if you used it
to wield your staff against, oh, I dunno. Some Rodeo Clowns or something.
|
764 | Spectral Pickle | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a ghostly pickle.
If you were inside this, you might say ?I'm in a ghostly pickle!? You
might also say that if you were in some sort of difficult situation
involving ghosts. |
931 | Spiced Rum | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is some rum infused with
spices. The stench of it reminds you of traffic, crowded stores, and
fighting with your family. Oh, I mean, the smell of it reminds you of the
holidays. In a good way |
8 | Spices | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a can of secret and
mysterious spices. It could be used to give something a secret and/or
mysterious flavor. |
315 | Spicy Bean Burrito | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a bean burrito
which has been kicked up a notch. BAM! |
318 | Spicy Enchanted Bean Burrito | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is an
enchanted bean burrito which has been kicked up a notch. BAM! |
750 | Spicy Mushroom Quesadilla | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
17 | Spicy Noodles | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a bowl of noodles,
which has been cooked with spices. The spices make the noodles spicier.
|
27 | Spider Web | Combat Item | The Sleazy Back Alley | This is the web from a spider.
It's sort of sticky, and it smells like spiders. |
668 | Spiked Femur | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a human femur with a
number of bony spikes protruding from it. |
952 | Spooky Hockey Mask | Hat | Campground | This is a hockey mask,
of the really, really spooky variety. Most hockey masks make you think
?Oh, hey, there must be a goalie behind that!? This one, on the other
hand, makes you think ?Oh, hey, I should run, run, run, run, run, run,
run away. From that psycho killer.? |
724 | Spooky Mushroom | Food | The Spooky Forest | This is a mushroom found
in the dark copses of The Spooky Forest. The cap looks sort of like a
skull. Which makes the stem look sort of like a neck. A really long neck.
Speaking of spooky mushrooms, you know what's spookier than a spooky
mushroom? An entire spooky mushhouse! |
408 | Spooky Pirate Skeleton | Familiar | Inventory - Combine | This is a spooky
pirate skeleton. It doesn't look very comfortable. To sit on, I mean,
It's all bony and would probably injure your booty. |
75 | Spooky Sapling | Usable | The Spooky Forest | This is a sapling from The
Spooky Forest. It twitches with magicalness. You can feel it trying to
grow larger. |
104 | Spooky Scarecrow | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a scarecrow made
out of a Spooky Skull, a Spooky Stick, and some stakes. The stakes are
decidedly non-spooky. |
102 | Spooky Shrunken Head | | The Spooky Forest | This shrunken head
is spooky, man. It's like it's grinning and staring at you. |
103 | Spooky Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a staff made out of
a spooky stick and a spooky shrunken head. The overall effect is...
spooky. |
77 | Spooky Stick | Weapon | The Spooky Forest | This is a stick from a tree
in The Spooky Forest. It's pretty heavy. You could probably whack some
stuff with it pretty effectively. |
805 | Spooky Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a
delectable-looking stir-fry of seasoned spooky mushrooms. It smells
tasty. Spoooookily tasty. |
74 | Spooky Temple Map | Usable | The Spooky Forest | This is a map which
tells you how to get to the Spooky Temple, deep within The Spooky Forest.
|
76 | Spooky-Gro Fertilizer | Usable | The Spooky Forest | This is a can of
fertilizer spray. It radiates a faint magical aura. It's funny how many
things radiate a faint magical aura. |
768 | Spork | Weapon | The Limerick Dungeon | This is a spork, which is a plastic
implement combining the properties of both a spoon and a fork. While you
might think that would result in a fork with big, flat, dull prongs,
you'd be wrong -- that object would actually be a foon. |
530 | Spray Paint | Usable | The Demon Market | This is a can of spray paint
which has been enchanted to change colors in response to the will of the
sprayer. It'd be good for tagging things. |
118 | Spring | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a spring. Springy! |
119 | Sprocket | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a sprocket. Sprockety!
|
121 | Sprocket Assembly | | Inventory - Combine | This assembly is made
out of a sprocket and a spring. |
560 | Stalk Of Asparagus | Food | The Haunted Pantry | This is a stalk of
cooked asparagus. Looks awfully tasty. |
654 | Star | | The Hole In The Sky | This is a tiny piece of a
constellation. Funny. You always thought that stars were bigger, and
further away. |
662 | Star Buckler | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a buckler made of
stars and lines. You have a feeling that if this thing goes unchecked,
there will eventually be one on every corner. |
656 | Star Chart | | The Hole In The Sky | This chart is a device used
by astronomers for deciding that a random cluster of stars actually looks
like something. |
658 | Star Crossbow | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a crossbow made of
stars and lines. If you were the female element of a pair of star-crossed
lovers, you could give this star crossbow to your star-crossed beau. If
not, you can just shoot stuff with it. Hey! Shooting stars! |
661 | Star Hat | Hat | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a hat made out of stars
and lines. It looks sort of like a wizard's hat, except the stars are
woven into it instead of printed on it. |
660 | Star Pants | Pants | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a pair of pants made
out of stars and lines. They're both light and light-emitting. |
659 | Star Staff | Weapon | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This staff is made of stars
and lines. It looks sort of like a shepherd's crook, but you're no
shepherd, as is evidenced by the fact that you'd rather use this staff to
smite your enemies than to... er... do whatever it is shepherds do with
their crooks. |
664 | Star Starfish | Familiar | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a smallish starfish
made out of stars and lines. Kurt Vonnegut would probably enjoy having
this thing as a pet. |
657 | Star Sword | Weapon | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a sword made of dots
and lines. Just a sword made of dots and lines. |
663 | Star Throwing Star | Combat Item | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a throwing star
made out of stars and lines. It's like, fractal, man. |
746 | Stat Script | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a scroll which
contains a sequence of incomprehensible characters, organized in sets of
curly braces. |
666 | Steaming Evil (Retired) | Weapon | The Hermit's Laboratory | This is a
fist-sized chunk of pure evil, stolen from the Hermit's secret
underground laboratory. |
128 | Sticky Meat Pants | Pants | Inventory - Smith | This is one sticky pair
of meat pants. Stylish, man. Stylish. |
757 | Stinky Mushroom | | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
11 | Stolen Accordion | Ranged Weapon | The Sewer | This is an accordion,
which you stole from someone, you big jerk. |
53 | Stone Banjo | Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a banjo made out of a
big rock. You'd think it'd be easy to come up with a clever way to
describe this, but you'd be wrong. |
144 | Stone Of eXtreme Power (Retired) | | The Distant Lands Dude Ranch Vacation | This
stone is very magical. Shiny, too! |
738 | Stone Tablet (Really Evil Rhythm) (Once Only) | | The Perplexing Door | This is a stone tablet with the words ?Really Evil Rhythm? carved
into the top. The rest of the tablet contains a few bars of a rhythm
line. |
736 | Stone Tablet (Sinister Strumming) (Once Only) | | The Perplexing Door | This is a stone tablet with the words ?Sinister Strumming? carved
into the top. This is followed by what appears to be a few lines of
guitar tablature. |
737 | Stone Tablet (Squeezings Of Woe) (Once Only) | | The Perplexing Door | This is a stone tablet with the words ?Squeezings of Woe? carved into
the top, followed by a few bars of what looks like accordion music. |
520 | Strange Leaflet (Once Only) | | The Council Of Loathing | This is a
strange leaflet that arrived at the Council of Loathing with your name on
it. The return address reads: The Frobozz Magic Leaflet Company Next To
The Lighthouse Festeron, Antharia, 23-52-1 |
786 | Strawberry | Food | The Hippy Store | This is a plump, juicy
strawberry. Jumpin' Pluicy, that's plump 'n' juicy! |
788 | Strawberry Daiquiri | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made
of rum and strawberries. These things are primarily consumed by women,
and by men who are too much like women to drink real booze. |
1014 | Strawberry Wine | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a glass of
strawberry wine, like the kind all the high school girls drink out behind
Old Man Boone's barn. |
1043 | String Of Blue Beads | Accessory | St. Sneaky Pete's Day | This is a cheap
necklace made out of blue plastic beads. Perhaps you could give it to
someone in exchange for something. Y'know, just... something. |
1044 | String Of Green Beads | Accessory | St. Sneaky Pete's Day | This is a cheap
necklace made out of green plastic beads. Perhaps you could give it to
someone in exchange for something. Y'know, just... something. |
1042 | String Of Red Beads | Accessory | St. Sneaky Pete's Day | This is a cheap
necklace made out of red plastic beads. Perhaps you could give it to
someone in exchange for something. Y'know, just... something. |
15 | Strongness Elixir | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | When consumed, this
elixir increases your Strongness. |
22 | Studded Leather Boxer Shorts | Pants | The Demon Market | This is a
pair of studded leather boxer shorts. There are studs on the outside --
is there one on the inside? |
403 | Stuffed Shoulder Parrot | Accessory | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a stuffed
parrot with a strap for mounting it on your shoulder. Ahoy, matey. |
743 | Stuffed Spooky Mushroom | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a spooky
mushroom stuffed with goat cheese. It looks really good. Looking at it
leads you to believe that it would also taste really good. Smelling it --
oh yeah. |
1117 | Stupid University Diploma (Jick) | | Jick | This
certificate proves that the recipient was educated stupid at Stupid
University. Rest assured he has the kind of stupid education only evil
educators can provide. |
854 | Sucky Decal | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | It's been said that nothing
in the Kingdom sucks harder than the Barrnacle, but that's not quite
true. Nothing sucks harder than a barrnacle equipped with this sucky
sticker. Or sticky sucker. Whichever. Sunken Chest: |
405 | Sunken Chest | Usable | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | This is a sunken chest,
ostensibly full of pirate booty. It appears to be sealed pretty securely.
|
279 | Suntan Lotion Of Moxiousness | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a
bottle of enchanted suntan lotion. It will increase your Moxie by giving
you an attractive, even tan, with no burning. |
587 | Super-Spikey Hair Gel | Usable | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This hair fixative
looks like it'd be good for making unbelievably spikey hair. |
778 | Support Cummerbund (Retired) | Accessory | The Icy Peak | This is a
cummerbund formerly worn by a Mob Penguin Soprano. It'll give you the
support you need to hit those high notes. You're not sure if it does so
by uttering soothing phrases of encouragement, or by preventing you from
getting a hernia. |
402 | Swashbuckling Pants | Pants | The Obligatory Pirate's Cove | These are the sort of
pants worn by a swashbuckler. If you need some swashes buckled, or maybe
some buckles swashed, look no further than whoever's wearing these pants.
Unless it's you, because you have no idea how to do either of those
things. |
21 | Sweet Ninja Sword | Weapon | Multiple, Format Coming | Dude, that is one sweet
ninja sword. Where'd you get it, man? |
135 | Sweet Rims | | The Hermitage | Man. Check out the chrome on
those babies. Those are some sweet rims. |
820 | Swirly Potion | Usable | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a potion in a
bottle shaped like an exclamation point. How is that possible, you might
ask? You might, but you aren't likely to get an answer. |
89 | Sword Hilt | | The Meatsmith | This is the hilt of a sword.
Well, it's not the hilt of a sword yet, but it will be once you make a
sword using it. |
86 | T-Bone Key | Usable | Inventory - Combine | This is a key shaped like a T.
It's made out of two things which were shaped like Ls. |
359 | T8r Tots | Food | The eXtreme Slope | These are crunchy and delicious
t8r snacks, filled with eXtreme carbohydr8s. |
173 | Taco Shell | | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a crispy taco shell.
You could probably fill it with something and cook it to make a tasty
taco. And by ?probably,? I mean"definitely."
"174 |
486 | Talisman O'Nam | Accessory | Inventory - Combine | This unwieldily-named
tchotchke resembles a snake head eating the head on the opposite side. |
877 | Talisman Of Baio | Accessory | The Spooky Forest | This is an amulet that
contains the purified essence of the Baiowulf. The container is,
unsurprisingly, shaped like the face of Scott Baio. The faces of Ronald
and Grimace are reflected in its beady little eyes. |
297 | Tamarind-Flavored Chewing Gum | Usable | South Of The Border | You're not
even sure this stuff *is* chewing gum. It's got a hard sugar coating over
a wee tiny bit of some mildly squishy substance. You're not convinced
that being chewy and gummy automatically make something chewing gum. I
mean, pencil erasers fall into that category. Except for the sugar part.
|
740 | Tambourine | Combat/Usable Item | Inventory - Combine | This is a tambourine. Shaking
this will make a horrible noise, which could be used to provide the
rhythm line for some stupid hippy music. |
739 | Tambourine Bells | | The Hippy Camp | These are tiny bells
that could probably be used to make a tambourine. |
1115 | Tasket | | The Untinker | This is a green tasket. What's
a tasket, you ask? I don't know, I reply. |
771 | Tassel | | The Limerick Dungeon | This is a tassel, taken from a
vassal. Perhaps he lived in a castle. |
540 | Tasty Fun Good Rice Candy | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | For good health
and sparkling happy time! |
24 | Ten-Leaf Clover | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | Man. This has got to be
just about the luckiest thing you've ever seen. |
338 | Tenderizing Hammer | Crafting Item | The Meatsmith | This is a meat
tenderizing hammer, used in the craft of Meatsmithing. |
1012 | Tequila Sunrise | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is another tequila
sunrise. You're not sure where the first one went. |
1021 | Tequila With Training Wheels | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is one
of the legendary colanders from the kitchen of Em-er'il, the founder of
the Guild of Pastamancers.Its kung-fu is strong. |
152 | The Colander Of Em-er'il (Once Only - Class Based) | Hat | The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave | This is one of the legendary colanders from the kitchen of
Em-er'il, the founder of the Guild of Pastamancers.Its kung-fu is strong.
|
34 | The Dolphin King's Crown (Once Only) | Hat | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This
is the crown that was worn by the Dolphin King before he was killed by
tuna fishermen. |
26 | The Dolphin King's Map (Once Only) | Usable | The Haunted Pantry | This is
a map given to you by the Dolphin King. He claimed that it leads to
treasure. You're not sure if you trust him. |
150 | The Scalp Of Gorgolok (Once Only - Class Based) | Hat | The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave | This is the scalp of Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal. It's got some of
his teeth attached to it, too.Here's hoping it will do you more good than
it did him. |
598 | The Slug Lord's Map (Once Only) | Usable | The Sleazy Back Alley | This is
the map given to you by the ghost of the Slug Lord. He said something
about it leading to pants. |
620 | Thin Black Candle | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | See the candle, thin
and black, How like my soul, it's thin and black. In the darkness we
shall meet, Miasma raining at my feet. So yeah, this candle is like
crappy poetry. |
872 | Time Juice (Reitred - Eight Only) | Usable | The Council Of Loathing | This is
a bottle of time. One adventure's worth of time, to be precise. |
606 | Tin Foil Immateria (Once Only) | | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a
small sphere of the purified essense of tin foil. It's very shiny. |
855 | Tiny Balloon Knife | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This knife is as sharp
as anything made out of a balloon can be. Which is to say, not at all
sharp. But when wielded by a crazed inflatable simian, it's one of the
deadlier balloon sculptures out there. Monkey knife-fight! |
592 | Tiny House | Usable | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is a very small house,
perfect for toting around. |
859 | Tiny Knife and Fork | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | Your ghuol whelp will
be able to eat dead flesh much more efficiently with this miniature
cutlery. Watching it dine will be no less nauseating, however. |
1166 | Tiny Maracas | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | These little movers and
shakers should get your Sombrero doing a little moving and shaking of its
own. Plus, think of all the jokes you can make about 'tiny maracas.' |
968 | Tiny Plastic Accordion Thief | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a
fake plastic Accordion Thief dropping an accordion. Gravity always wins.
The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 2/32 (U)? |
972 | Tiny Plastic Angry Goat | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic angry goat. It seethes with tiny plastic fury. Playing tonight at
the Cake-Shaped Arena, Tiny Plastic Fury! The bottom of the base reads
?Series 1, 10/32 (C)? |
982 | Tiny Plastic Baby Gravy Fairy | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a
tiny plastic baby gravy fairy bustin' tiny plastic phat moves. While
listening to The Plastics, probably. The bottom of the base reads ?Series
1, 20/32 (C)? |
976 | Tiny Plastic Barrrnacle | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | Everyone's
favorite familiar, lovingly rendered in plastic for maximum suckiness.
The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 14/32 (C)? |
989 | Tiny Plastic Bitchin' Meat Car | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is
a tiny plastic bitchin' meat car. VRRROOOOMMM!! Er, I mean, VRRROOOOMMM!!
The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 27/32 (U)? |
980 | Tiny Plastic Blood-Faced Volleyball | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This
is a tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball. Although it's probably just a
red-paint-faced volleyball. You hope. It doesn't appear to be clotting.
The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 18/32 (C)? |
991 | Tiny Plastic Boris | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny plastic
figurine of Boris, tearing a tiny plastic phone book in half. He could be
your hero; he is a mighty little man. The bottom of the base reads
?Series 1, 29/32 (R)? |
987 | Tiny Plastic Cheshire Bat | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic cheshire bat. Fortunately, they sculpted the whole bat, and not
just the grin. That would have looked like dentures for some tiny plastic
old guy. The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 25/32 (C)? |
983 | Tiny Plastic Cocoabo | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic cocoabo. Tiny Plastic LIMIT BREAK! The bottom of the base reads
?Series 1, 21/32 (C)? |
988 | Tiny Plastic Coffee Pixie | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic coffee pixie. It doesn't vibrate. Do not put it in your pocket.
The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 26/32 (C)? |
967 | Tiny Plastic Disco Bandit | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a fake
plastic Disco Bandit. It used to do surgery for girls in the 80's. The
bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 1/32 (U)? |
974 | Tiny Plastic Fuzzy Dice | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a set of
tiny plastic fuzzy dice. Only they're not fuzzy, being made of hard
plastic. So are they still fuzzy dice? Ponder that, young Padawan. The
bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 12/32 (C)? |
985 | Tiny Plastic Ghost Pickle On A Stick | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This
is a tiny plastic ghost pickle, skewered on a tiny plastic stick. It
looks tiny plastic uncomfortable, truth be told. The bottom of the base
reads ?Series 1, 23/32 (C)? |
981 | Tiny Plastic Ghuol Whelp | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic ghuol whelp. It's munching on something that, due to the size, is
thankfully unidentifiable. The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 19/32
(C)? |
979 | Tiny Plastic Grue | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny plastic
grue. Basically, it's a blob of dark plastic -- which indicates darkness,
not fuzz, thank you -- with two evil little glow-in-the-dark eyes. The
bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 17/32 (C)? |
990 | Tiny Plastic Hermit | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny plastic
Hermit. No matter what anybody tells you, you can't kill him. He looks
miffed that you don't have any tiny plastic trinkets for him. The bottom
of the base reads ?Series 1, 28/32 (U)? |
977 | Tiny Plastic Howling Balloon Monkey | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This
is a tiny plastic howling balloon monkey. Congratulations, now you have a
test subject for your tiny plastic medical experiments. The bottom of the
base reads ?Series 1, 15/32 (C)? |
992 | Tiny Plastic Jarlsberg | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is the great
wizard Jarlsberg, rendered in plastic. He's probably fiddling with Tiny
Plastic Things Tiny Plastic Men Were Not Meant To Know. The bottom of the
base reads ?Series 1, 30/32 (R)? |
986 | Tiny Plastic Killer Bee | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic killer bee. ?Ay, el gato malodoro! The bottom of the base reads
?Series 1, 24/32 (C)? |
970 | Tiny Plastic Leprechaun | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic leprechaun. If only you had a tiny plastic Jennifer Aniston for
it to terrorize. The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 8/32 (C)? |
971 | Tiny Plastic Levitating Potato | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | Everyone's
second favorite familiar, rendered in shiny plastic. It kinda smells
funny. You know, like a new mouse pad. The bottom of the base reads
?Series 1, 9/32 (C)? |
969 | Tiny Plastic Mosquito | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic mosquito. It's either a really big tiny plastic mosquito, or it's
out of scale. The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 7/32 (C)? |
965 | Tiny Plastic Pastamancer | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a fake
plastic Pastamancer. Mmm, that's-a tiny meatball! If it could be who you
wanted? The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 5/32 (U)? |
973 | Tiny Plastic Sabre-Toothed Lime | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a
tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime. If you had some tiny plastic vodka and
tiny plastic tonic water, you could make a great choking hazard. The
bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 11/32 (C)? |
966 | Tiny Plastic Sauceror | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a fake
plastic Sauceror, conjuring a fake polystyrene Stream of Tartar Sauce.
The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 6/32 (U)? |
963 | Tiny Plastic Seal Clubber | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a fake
plastic Seal Clubber, beating the hell out of a fake plastic seal. It
looks like the real thing. The bottom of the base reads 'Series 1, 4/32
(U)' |
993 | Tiny Plastic Sneaky Pete | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic figurine of Sneaky Pete. He couldn't steal your pants at that
size, but keep an eye on your loose change. The bottom of the base reads
?Series 1, 31/32 (R)? |
975 | Tiny Plastic Spooky Pirate Skeleton | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This
is a tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton. It's pretty spooky, as far as
petrolearrrm-based children's toys go. The bottom of the base reads
?Series 1, 13/32 (C)? |
978 | Tiny Plastic Stab Bat | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic stab bat. In addition to being a choking hazard, it's also wicked
sharp. Don't put it in your pocket if you don't want to change religions.
The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 16/32 (C)? |
984 | Tiny Plastic Star Starfish | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a tiny
plastic star starfish. Bar of chocolate and bowl of cereal sold
seperately. The bottom of the base reads ?Series 1, 22/32 (C)? |
994 | Tiny Plastic Suzie | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a little
figurine of Loathing's most eligible bachelorette, Susie. Or, it's at
least a figurine of her torso glued to a figurine of a podium. The bottom
of the base reads ?Series 1, 32/32 (R)? |
938 | Tiny Plastic Sword (Reitred) | Weapon | Crimbo 2004 | This is a
tiny plastic sword, like the ones they use to skewer pieces of fruit to
put in elaborate cocktails. It's also like the ones tiny plastic knights
use to slay small plastic dragons. |
964 | Tiny Plastic Turtle Tamer | Accessory | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a fake
plastic Turtle Tamer, forcing a fake plastic turtle to jump through a
fake plastic hoop. It wears you out. The bottom of the base reads ?Series
1, 3/32 (U)? |
852 | Tiny Shaker Of Salt | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | All is well in
Margaritaville now that you've found this. With this equipped, your
sabre-toothed lime will be able to rub salt in your enemies' wounds, both
figuratively and literally. |
136 | Tires | | Degrassi Knoll | These are some tires you got from a
Gnollish Tirejuggler. They're too big to juggle, but maybe you could find
some other use for them? |
1114 | Tisket | | The Untinker | This is a yellow tisket. You're
not even a little bit sure what a tisket is. |
605 | Tissue Paper Immateria (Once Only) | | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This
is a small sphere of the purified essense of tissue paper. It's very
light. |
596 | Titanium Assault Umbrella | Weapon | The Penultimate Fantasy Airship | This is an
extremely sharp, extremely heavy umbrella, which is obviously designed to
be used as a weapon. You could poke people with the tip, I guess, or
maybe open the umbrella in their faces to freak them out. |
641 | Toast | Food | Campground | This is a simple piece of toast. No
cheese, no cinnamon, none of whatever might make it French, just toast.
|
225 | Tofu Casserole | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a casserole made
out of tofu. There are very few things out of which a more disgusting
casserole can be made. |
816 | Tofu Chow Mein | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a big bowl of
everything that makes a hippy happy - vegetables, tofu, and noodles. All
it's missing is a VW microbus and the reanimated corpse of Jerry Garcia.
|
811 | Tofu Stir-Fry | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a stir-fry made
with tofu. Oh, boy! Nothing improves a stir-fry like friggin' tofu! |
246 | Tomato | Food | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a tomato. If you're
anything like me, you probably don't like tomatoes. If you're anything
like Dan Quayle, you probably can't spell ?tomatoes.? |
841 | Tomato Daiquiri | Booze | Blown Up Bartender | This is a drink made out of
rum and... tomatoes? Bleargh. Who in their right mind would ever mix
those two things? |
423 | Tomato Smoothie | Usable | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a smoothie, and
it's made of tomatoes. That's why they call it a tomato smoothie. It'll
make you smooth. As smooth as silk. Smoother, actually, but it has the
curious side effect of making you exactly as Magical as you were Moxious
before you drank it. |
18 | Tortoise's Blessing | | Inventory - Use Specific Item | This is a blessing
received form a giant sea tortoise. You're not quite sure what it's for.
|
1046 | Traffic Cone (Once Only) | Hat | St. Sneaky Pete's Day | This is a big
cone of bright orange plastic. You have no recollection of how or where
you got it, but it's like I always say -- it's not a good night unless
you end up with a traffic cone! |
543 | Trollhouse Cookies | Food | The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm | These are similar to
those cookies that are made by elves who live in a tree, except these are
made by trolls who live in a septic tank. |
58 | Turtle Factory | | Inventory - Combine | This is a big rock with a
hole in it. From the hole in the rock, there pours an endless stream of
tiny, angry snapping turtles.This is one of the weirdest things you've
ever seen. |
60 | Turtleslinger | Ranged Weapon | Inventory - Combine | This is a slingshot which
fires an endless stream of tiny, angry snapping turtles.This weapon is as
terrifying as it is impractical. |
215 | Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix | | The Hippy Camp | This is a box
of Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix. Hippies sure seem to use a lot of this
stuff. |
175 | Uncooked Chorizo | Food | Fernswarthy's Tower | This is chorizo -- spicy
ground pork. It's not cooked yet. |
874 | Unrolling Pin | Usable | The Bugbear Bakery | This is an unrolling pin.
This thing looks like it'd be perfect for turning mass quantities of flat
dough into mass quantities of regular old wads of dough. |
837 | Uovo Marcio Shiraz (Retired) | Booze | Uncle P's Antiques - Raffle Prize (Retired) | This is a
bottle of red, red wine, straight from the vineyards of Old Country. A
lot of this stuff made its way into the Kingdom by way of Mob Penguin
immigrants. Some people pronounce it shur-ahhs, and some people pronounce
it shur-az. Still others pronounce it ?jasmine,? but I think we can all
agree that those people are insane. |
1026 | Valentine (Retired) | | The Demon Market | This is a
valentine. It'll allow you to send (in a normal message) one of several
pictures and Valentine's day poems to your sweetheart. Or to somebody
else. Who will then become your sweetheart. Or to somebody else who won't
then become your sweetheart. |
139 | Valuable Trinket | | The Tropical Paradise Island Getaway | This is a poorly made
little trinket, but since it comes from Distant Lands, it's pretty
valuable here. |
962 | Velvet Choker | Familiar Equipment | The Cake-Shaped Arena | This is a black velvet
choker for your feathery pink choker. Because, y'know, it strangles
things. Got it? Well, don't give it to anybody else. |
1023 | Vesper | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a dry vodka martini.
Shaken, not stirred. |
409 | Vial Of Patchouli Oil | Combat Item | The Hippy Camp (In Disguise) | This is a vial of
the nastiest-smelling substance known to man -- essential oil of
patchouli. You might say it's the vilest vial of all the vile vials
you've ever reviled. But if you said that, somebody would probably slap
you for not being funny. |
37 | Viking Helmet | Hat | The Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob | You've been viking again,
haven't you? I can tell by your helmet. |
760 | Vinegar | | The Spectral Pickle Factory | This is a small bottle of
vinegar, the stuff that runs through the veins of the dreaded vine gar. |
673 | Vodka and Cranberry | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made
with vodka and cranberry juice. Rubbing alcohol and chalk -- two great
tastes that taste great together! |
1009 | Vodka Martini | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is your basic vodka
martini. Vodka and an olive. |
527 | Volleyball | Usable | The Hermitage | This is an ordinary
volleyball. It could be used to play a game of volleyball, I guess. |
769 | Voodoo Doll (Unimplemented) | Accessory | Unimplemented | This doll
reminds you of a babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power?
Look, I'm getting sick of all these questions, okay? I'm not the one on
trial here! |
833 | Vorpal Blade | Weapon | The Dungeons Of Doom | One two, one two, and
through and through -- this is the kind of blade that you'd imagine would
feel right at home going ?snicker-snack.? |
623 | WA | | Inventory - Combine | This is a wa. Wa wa wa. |
159 | Wad Of Dough | Usable | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a wad of dough. It's
hard to describe it in much more detail than that. |
209 | Wad Of Tofu | | The Hippy Camp | This is a wad of tofu. It
would be like meat, if it were at all like meat. |
285 | Walrus-Tusk Earring | Accessory | The Daily Dungeon | This is an earring
made out of the tusk of a walrus. It's very heavy, and would probably
stretch your ear out if you tried to wear it. |
626 | Wand Of Nagamar | | Inventory - Combine | This wand radiates
powerful magic. It's long, thin, and adorned with a constantly shifting
pattern of letters. |
625 | Wang | | Inventory - Combine | This is a big Wang. Word processor.
You'll find its spellcheck to be useful when chatting with the other
citizens of Loathing. |
891 | Warehouse 23 Bling (Jick) | Accessory | Jick | This shining
golden amulet was presented to the members of Warehouse 23 by the
chairman of the Kingdom of Loathing chapter of the Illuminati. Which
doesn't really exist. Seriously. Stop looking. |
749 | Warm Mushroom | Unknown | Doesn't Exist, Not Acquirable | N/A |
621 | Warm Subject Gift Certificate | Usable | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | In the dark
and torpid miasma. White as bone and red as plasma. Black as the rain
that soaks my soul. Consumer lust fills the gaping hole. Yup. This is a
gift certificate to Loathing's most popular store for trendy depressed
people: Warm Subject. Rubber bondage pants for everybody! |
1027 | Whip Kit | | The Meatsmith | If you want to make a whip,
you must whip kit. Which is to say you must purchase a whip kit. And be a
properly trained Seal Clubber. Not as simple as you imagined, eh? |
557 | Whiskey and Cola | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | There are some who refer
to this drink as a Whiscola, but we're not going to count ourselves in
that number. |
1010 | Whiskey and Soda | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made
with whiskey and soda water. The soda water adds delicious fizz to the
already delicious whiskey, resulting in a sparkling booze sensation! Er,
at least that's what the commercials say. |
674 | Whiskey Sour | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a drink made with
whiskey and lemon juice. Think about how sour it is. Now think about how
whiskey it is. Now think about how sour it is. |
331 | White Canadian | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a delicious drink
made of vodka and goat's milk. |
261 | White Castle Burger | Food | Whitey's Grove | This is a tiny White
Castle hamburger. It looks greasy and delicious. |
260 | White Castle Fries | Food | Whitey's Grove | White Castle fries
only come in one size. |
958 | White Chocolate and Tomato Pizza | Food | Blown Up Chef | These are
cookies made with delicious white chocolate chips. Just thinking about
these makes your mouth water. |
264 | White Chocolate Chip Cookies | Food | Inventory - Cook | This is a
handful of white chocolate chips. These are so much better than regular
chocolate chips that words cannot even describe them. |
263 | White Chocolate Chips | Food | Whitey's Grove | This is a jar of
moonshine. It smells like hillbillies and turpentine. |
266 | White Lightning | Booze | Whitey's Grove | This is a white picket
fence. This would look just perfect at your campsite. |
270 | White Picket Fence | Usable | Whitey's Grove | This strange object
appears to be a white dot, which could not, no matter how hard you tried,
be separated into any smaller pieces. Curious. |
459 | White Pixel | | Multiple, Format Coming | Pants of white satin, never
reaching the end. Oh, how you love them. |
265 | White Satin Pants | Pants | Whitey's Grove | This is a white sword.
It's like an ordinary sword, only white. Ordinary swords are not white.
|
269 | White Sword | Weapon | Whitey's Grove | This is the skin from a
whitesnake. Rock on. |
259 | Whitesnake Skin | | Whitey's Grove | This is a set of metal
windchimes. |
212 | Windchimes | Usable | The Hippy Camp | This is a set of metal
windchimes. |
1015 | Wine Spritzer | Booze | Inventory - Cocktail | This is a wine spritzer.
Wine spritzer!? I hardly know her! |
909 | Wint-O-Fresh Mint | Usable | Halloween | This is a small breath
mint. It's shaped like one of those round things they have on boats.
Y'know, those... things. What do you call those things? Eh, it doesn't
matter. |
633 | Wolf Mask | Hat | The Castle In The Clouds In The Sky | When you put this mask on, you
feel as if you've finally discovered the real you, the you that no one
else can see. You are a wolf, deep inside. Well, actually you're not. |
46 | Wooden Figurine | | The Hermitage | This is a like a wooden
figure, only smaller. |
71 | Wooden Stakes | Weapon | The Spooky Forest | These are some wooden
stakes. They could probably be used for slaying a number of vampires. Or
perhaps for other things. |
44 | Worthless Gewgaw | | Multiple, Format Coming | You're not quite sure
what this is, but you're sure it has no value. |
45 | Worthless Knick-Knack | | Multiple, Format Coming | You're not quite
sure what this is, but you're sure it has no value. |
43 | Worthless Trinket | | Multiple, Format Coming | You're not quite sure
what this is, but you're sure it has no value. |
645 | Wrapping Paper (Retired) | | Crimbo 2003 | This is a torn
up sheet of wrapping paper. It has Crimbo patterns on it. Which is sort
of like a cross between Houndstooth and Gingham. And Plaid. |
421 | Wrath Serum | Usable | Inventory - Cook | This serum will make you
wrathful. Drink it. Become vengeance, man. Become wrath. |
469 | Wussiness Potion | Combat/Usable Item | Multiple, Format Coming | This is a potion which
will make you feel weaker. In case you ever need to feel weaker, for some
reason. |
1002 | Xlyinia's Notebook (Jick) | Accessory | Jick | This is the
notebook Xlyinia uses to keep track of everything that happens in the
Kingdom. Seriously. Everything. |
394 | Yak Skin | | T3h L33t Tr4pz0r | This is the skin of a yak. It's
thick and hairy. |
1036 | Yak Skin Buckler | Accessory | Inventory - Smith | This is a fuzzy buckler
made of yak skin. You could get out of many a sticky wicket with this
fuzzy buckler, eh wot, guv? |
1031 | Yak Whip | Weapon | Inventory - Smith | This is not a delicious
nondairy dessert topping made of yak, but a whip made of yak skin. It's
specially designed to leave painful welts on whatever you hit it with.
Whatever with which you hit it. Hey, y'know what happens to the grammar
police, 'round these parts? They get hit with this whip. |
397 | Yakskin Pants | Pants | Inventory - Smith | These are some really
thick, really hairy pants. Other than being thick and hairy, they're
pretty unremarkable. |
457 | Ye Olde Golde Frontes | Accessory | The Shadowy Store | These make your
teeth really shiny, and intimidate your opponents. |
1078 | Yellow Paisley Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg painted with a yellow paisley pattern. One time
this guy named Lee asked this other guy why he always bet on yellow when
playing roulette. ?It's simple. Yellow pays, Lee.? Then Lee beat the guy
remorselessly for having made such a terrible, terrible joke. |
1079 | Yellow Plastic Oyster Egg | Combat Item | Oyster Day | This is a
yellow plastic imitation oyster egg. It shines like a tiny sun, which is
odd, because the sun shines like a red rubber ball, and this thing is
neither red nor rubber. |
1077 | Yellow Polka-Dot Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with yellow polka dots. You might
describe it as an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot hard-boiled
oyster egg. If you do, though, I totally don't have your back. |
1076 | Yellow Striped Oyster Egg | Usable | Oyster Day | This is a
hard-boiled oyster egg, painted with yellow stripes. It reminds you of
your cowardly nephew. Yup. That kid has a yellow stripe a mile wide. |
388 | Yeti Fur | | The Icy Peak | This is the fur from a yeti.
It's dirty, and it smells like rotting yeti meat, but it's otherwise
unremarkable. |
775 | Yeti Protest Sign (Retired) | Usable | The Icy Peak | This is a
sign with ?Save The Yetis? written on it in big letters. |
905 | Yummy Tummy Bean | Usable | Halloween | This is a jelly bean.
You're not sure what it's going to taste like, because Yummy Tummy jelly
beans are renowned for their nearly infinite variety of flavors. |
Total | 1199 | | |